If I Told You

Last night I watched The Wedding Singer at our local theater. It was a nice change since it'd been almost a year since I'd actually sat and just watched a show. And this specific show was fantastic one to watch because I could just enjoy it. It was funny, romantic and sad all at the same time. It was actually an incredibly hilarious show, and I was really impressed with how the actor and actresses were able to pull off every single joke, since there were so many of them. It was an extremely humorous show, but it was also a really cute, show. I highly admire the writers of it to be able to develop a show so incredibly well written. But I'm not writing this because I want to give a review of the musical (12 out of 10 stars), but because I really connected to a lot to it. Especially one particular song, called, "If I Told You".

"If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know"

That was the chorus. I feel like that in specific kind of describes a lot of peoples lives. We all have some kid of secret we're hiding, even if it's just from ourselves. If I know you and you're reading this right now, I can PROMISE you there's something I want to tell you, something that you don't know. It happens to all of us. You can walk around saying, "I'm so confident, I can talk to anyone, I can do anything, I have no secrets, I don't hide anything," when, to be honest, we all have at least one secret. We all have one thing we really want to say, but we can't. Because we don't know how they'd react. We don't know their judgement. And that's what makes it hard.

I remember in 6th grade, I had SO MUCH I hid. From everyone. I had so much I wanted to say, that I never did, because I didn't know the result. Sometimes even now, a year later, I think about telling people what I really thought about them back then. But then I think, "I don't know what they'll do, or say. Why should I risk what I have right now?" and I know we all think that. Whether you want to tell your friend that you're in love with them, or tell your "friend" that you hate everything about them, it's almost never said to them. Why? Because we want our friend to stay our friend if they don't like us back. Because we want our "friend" to not hate us and make us miserable because of what you said. It happens. It happens to everyone.

The point of this whole thing is, I suggest you tell people how you feel. What you want to say. Because even though it may seem stupid, I promise that it will soon enough be okay if it doesn't work out. I've had some miserable times so far because I haven't taken charge of my life. I haven't told people how I felt. I haven't done things I really should have. And I've found out that if I had said what I wanted when I got the chance, something great could've happened. Something different. So just take charge of your life. Don't be scared. This is probably totally hypocritical, because I can almost promise you that I won't do what I'm telling you to. But just because I'm not taking my own advice doesn't mean you shouldn't.

I know I have people who probably want to say things to me. I don't know who, and I don't know whether it's good or bad. I don't know what it is. I have absolutely no suspicions in my mind. But if you're reading this, and you know me, and you have something to tell me, I advise you to say it. I want you to tell me. I like knowing what people think of me, because even if it's something I don't want to hear, I'm not being lied to. I'd rather be told the bare truth than have someone try to soften the things that are made to be harsh.

And if you don't know me, well, maybe you should tell someone what you want to say. Do what you want to do. Go on. I dare you.