So, in about an hour and 2 minutes, 1/3 of 2012 will be over. Isn't it funny how time flies so quickly? I can remember back in December distinctly, and realizing how much I've changed and grown within four months is kind of surprising and astonishing. I've been wanting to write about a certain thing I've realized, more than anything else I've learned so far, and figured that right around the 1/3 mark would be a proper time to post it, since this specific item I want to share my thoughts on means a lot to me, and means a lot to me that people fully understand it, as I do. I didn't want this to be any normal post, exactly, so I'm doing this at a certain time, since it's made such an impact on me and my way of thinking. So, here it is, what I've waited for a long time to speak about: Learning.
Yes. I did want to talk about what you do during school. But not in that specific way. Not education. Learning. The importance of learning, how we learn, when we learn, why we learn. I feel really strongly and deeply about this, and just remembering what I'm about to share with whoever's reading this has carried me through the past few months. So. Here it goes, from the very beginning. Literally.
We were all born as a thing. A human being with no sins, no feelings. No flaws, no talents, no attributes or characteristics. We were all the same at birth. We didn't have any bad in us. All we had is the goodness that God provided, and gave us to carry throughout our lives. It's what happens next, each and every day, that shapes who you are. And finally, when all your experiences come together, you're a person. You have feelings, and knowledge, and the ability to be good or bad. You have flaws, and skills, and virtues and talents. You have become who you are because of the everyday things that happen to you. But even rainstorm after rainstorm, trouble after trouble, and you get darker and gloomier, and more sad, or hateful, or full of despair, there's that little bit of goodness still inside you. It's still there. That little speck of being pure, from when you were just a thing. As covered up and hidden as it is, it's still there. And it always will be. Because at the end of the day, we're just things. Things with feelings, experiences, and knowledge.
That's my opinion on how things work. That's how we become people. And like I said, we're all things with knowledge. We gain knowledge when we learn. And we learn when we experience. The importance of learning is that we can take something from anything thrown at us, good or bad, and turn it into something even better, something that can help us in the future. When you're sad or depressed, you can say, "I've done this before. I made it through. For a period of time I was happy. I can make it through again." And that will help you get through any situation. When we learn, we grow. When you face a challenge, keep going until you beat it. You've then learned what to do to get out, and you can battle similar situations in the future. That's what learning is. A tool belt. You have a tool belt of things you've learned. And when something is broken, you use your "tools" to fix it.
We learn when things happen to us. When your family faces problems, or someone makes your life miserable, or anything, it teaches us something. Teaches you you're better off without them, you can get through anything, how to judge people better, how to solve conflicts, anything. You can learn anything from any situation, good or bad. You just have to try. You don't learn things by sitting back and waiting for it to be over. You learn by standing up and moving, and trying. You get experiences every single day, that have the potential to teach you something. You just have to learn it. Some people can even point it out and put it right in front of you, and directly say, "You need to learn...." You just have to take what they're saying to heart, and try. Don't leave what you could have because you don't want it at the moment. It's like money. If your mom handed you money you didn't need right then and there, would you still take it, even with hesitation? Probably so. You'd spend it when you need to, or save it for later. It's exactly the same way with knowledge. Take what you can get and use it when you can, if you can. You don't know when you're going to have it handed to you again.
People say, "God shouldn't put me through this, if he really cares! Isn't he looking out for me?" Well, he is. When he gives you a situation, or when something gives you a situation, it's because he knows you can make something good out of it. It's your choice to take what you have, and learn, or leave it alone and have a hard time in the future. Remember, the chance may not come again.
I don't expect everyone to understand what learning means to me. In fact, I expect only one or two people to fully understand and comprehend what I'm trying to say. I expect none to actually take this to heart and try to learn. But maybe you should. Or at least try. I can promise you, it'll do you some good.
At the end of the day, we're a little taller, a little smarter, another day older, and many more experiences wiser.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Out of Sight
You know that expression, "Out of sight, out of mind"? Well, for some people, and some certain situations, it holds truth within it. But sometimes, it only seems that way in the beginning. You'll learn and grow to find that it's not true, a lot of the time. And while your worrying or moping may be needed at the beginning to help you cope, it's not needed forever.
You can have a person suddenly leave everything, with no explanation and no warning, but still be there. When people say, "They're gone," they're not. What they did there, and what they brought is still up and living. You can have a person walk right out the door, not be able to see them, and have them never come back, and they won't be out of mind. I know for a fact that you've been thinking about someone specific from the second sentence, at least. That means they're not gone. What they taught you, and what they brought to your life, you'll always have, whether they're there physically, or not. You can suddenly have no leader, no role model, PHYSICALLY in your life, but still constantly worry about them. They may be out of sight, but even just wondering about them is not out of mind.
Usually, when people leave your life, it's for a reason. Maybe it was better for them, someone close to them, someone else, or even you. It may seem ridiculous that anyone could ever leave and have it be a positive impact on you, but it's true. Everything does happen for a reason. What's the point of something happening if it's not worth anything? Just a waste of time in the short thing called life? No. If you're really sad, or depressed, or upset about this person leaving, it's probably because they touched you in some way. They brought something special into your life. They helped you, or made you smile, or inspired you, or just simply brightened your day with their presence. But they most likely taught you something. They taught you something you may not have had the chance to learn if it wasn't for them. It doesn't matter what it was they taught you, or how they taught you it. All that really counts was that you learned it. And now you have another valuable resource to add to the tool belt of skills you have for the rest of your life. Maybe them leaving you, or suddenly disappearing was a way of teaching you another lesson. How to get by on your own, deal with stress, how to take what you know and apply it to your problems, anything. You can honestly learn something from anything, anyone, and any situation. So yes, you can mope, that's not a problem. But why not try to learn something, and get something out of it also? It's just another experience that you can add to everything you've been though, another lesson learned. You're stronger at the end of the day. You can use how strong you are to encourage others. Maybe the person that's left is going to do bigger and better things. Maybe it's the best thing for them. If they meant that much to you, you'd let it happen. If you try to make the best of what's happening, you can. You just have to try, and look. Something will come out of it if you continue trying. I can 100% promise you. Although it seems like nothing can, eventually, something will. And you'll just be a better person.
So take who you have, and what you have, and learn from it. Enjoy it. It may not be there forever. And if it goes, learn from that also. It will only make you stronger. I don't know who's reading this, or what opinions you have on me, as a person, and this might have sounded cliche, or repetitive, like you've heard it before, but I don't know how else to explain this then: Embrace it. Learn from it. Then, let it go, and learn from that.
When you can't see someone it doesn't mean they're not there. When people have left it doesn't mean they're gone. When people are out of sight, they haven't left your thoughts, hopes and prayers.
You can have a person suddenly leave everything, with no explanation and no warning, but still be there. When people say, "They're gone," they're not. What they did there, and what they brought is still up and living. You can have a person walk right out the door, not be able to see them, and have them never come back, and they won't be out of mind. I know for a fact that you've been thinking about someone specific from the second sentence, at least. That means they're not gone. What they taught you, and what they brought to your life, you'll always have, whether they're there physically, or not. You can suddenly have no leader, no role model, PHYSICALLY in your life, but still constantly worry about them. They may be out of sight, but even just wondering about them is not out of mind.
Usually, when people leave your life, it's for a reason. Maybe it was better for them, someone close to them, someone else, or even you. It may seem ridiculous that anyone could ever leave and have it be a positive impact on you, but it's true. Everything does happen for a reason. What's the point of something happening if it's not worth anything? Just a waste of time in the short thing called life? No. If you're really sad, or depressed, or upset about this person leaving, it's probably because they touched you in some way. They brought something special into your life. They helped you, or made you smile, or inspired you, or just simply brightened your day with their presence. But they most likely taught you something. They taught you something you may not have had the chance to learn if it wasn't for them. It doesn't matter what it was they taught you, or how they taught you it. All that really counts was that you learned it. And now you have another valuable resource to add to the tool belt of skills you have for the rest of your life. Maybe them leaving you, or suddenly disappearing was a way of teaching you another lesson. How to get by on your own, deal with stress, how to take what you know and apply it to your problems, anything. You can honestly learn something from anything, anyone, and any situation. So yes, you can mope, that's not a problem. But why not try to learn something, and get something out of it also? It's just another experience that you can add to everything you've been though, another lesson learned. You're stronger at the end of the day. You can use how strong you are to encourage others. Maybe the person that's left is going to do bigger and better things. Maybe it's the best thing for them. If they meant that much to you, you'd let it happen. If you try to make the best of what's happening, you can. You just have to try, and look. Something will come out of it if you continue trying. I can 100% promise you. Although it seems like nothing can, eventually, something will. And you'll just be a better person.
So take who you have, and what you have, and learn from it. Enjoy it. It may not be there forever. And if it goes, learn from that also. It will only make you stronger. I don't know who's reading this, or what opinions you have on me, as a person, and this might have sounded cliche, or repetitive, like you've heard it before, but I don't know how else to explain this then: Embrace it. Learn from it. Then, let it go, and learn from that.
When you can't see someone it doesn't mean they're not there. When people have left it doesn't mean they're gone. When people are out of sight, they haven't left your thoughts, hopes and prayers.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Time Gone By
Yesterday, at lunch, we weren't sitting with our usual classes. A girl who was one of my best friends last year in 6th grade sat across from me, by coincidence. It was kind of awkward, because we're not so much friends right know, just acquaintances. Nothing happened between us, just a simple separation. Not even that. We just didn't see each other once during the summer, the daily texting slowed down, and we didn't have ONE class together this year. So, there we went. Off our separate ways. It was kind of weird because just a year ago, we would have been laughing and screaming, but now, it was more like a silence across the table. She was talking to the people sitting next to her, as was I. I know we both felt how different it was. But then, something she said got me thinking.
She was talking to the girl sitting next to her, and they started listing all the people who hung out with them a lot last year. As they reached the end of this list, she said, "That was a year ago. It doesn't feel that long."
Something else happened today also. We were taking the STAAR Reading test today, and our teacher was giving us directions, as the test administrators usually have to. As I was looking at the clock to check the time, I realized—fully realized—that we were taking the test. Today. I wasn't scared. I was prepared. I've always been great at English, especially reading. I make 96s and 98s in English on my report card every six weeks. It wasn't a big deal. What struck me was the sudden use of present tense. How suddenly, the STAAR test "was happening", when all year long, we were waiting for it "to happen". And in a short matter of hours, when I turned in my test and answer sheet, it would "have happened". How suddenly, within a day, we could have all different tenses, future, past, and present, about one thing. It amazed me. It shocked me that a few months since the beginning of the school year had already passed, and here we are, at the end.
Just hearing and realizing all this had backed up and supported what I already new; life is short, and the time in which you have to live it is even shorter. (Yes, that was my own personal quote, thank you.) Last year I was sitting at a table with two other people, both of which had little friends and were shy. I would have had no plans for the afternoon or weekend. Now, I'm sitting at a table with a good 9 others, all fighting to be the most heard, everyone outspoken, with rehearsal tonight, and plans to see a show with two friends this weekend. Everything's changed, and for the better, but I can distinctly remember what it was like a year ago. It wasn't that long ago. If life is a day, a year is about 15 minutes. So savor what you have now, enjoy it, if it's something good. You may not have it in a short amount of time. And if you don't like what you have, then just know it will eventually be gone, and maybe within a year also.
Life is short, but the time in which you have to live it is even shorter.
She was talking to the girl sitting next to her, and they started listing all the people who hung out with them a lot last year. As they reached the end of this list, she said, "That was a year ago. It doesn't feel that long."
Something else happened today also. We were taking the STAAR Reading test today, and our teacher was giving us directions, as the test administrators usually have to. As I was looking at the clock to check the time, I realized—fully realized—that we were taking the test. Today. I wasn't scared. I was prepared. I've always been great at English, especially reading. I make 96s and 98s in English on my report card every six weeks. It wasn't a big deal. What struck me was the sudden use of present tense. How suddenly, the STAAR test "was happening", when all year long, we were waiting for it "to happen". And in a short matter of hours, when I turned in my test and answer sheet, it would "have happened". How suddenly, within a day, we could have all different tenses, future, past, and present, about one thing. It amazed me. It shocked me that a few months since the beginning of the school year had already passed, and here we are, at the end.
Just hearing and realizing all this had backed up and supported what I already new; life is short, and the time in which you have to live it is even shorter. (Yes, that was my own personal quote, thank you.) Last year I was sitting at a table with two other people, both of which had little friends and were shy. I would have had no plans for the afternoon or weekend. Now, I'm sitting at a table with a good 9 others, all fighting to be the most heard, everyone outspoken, with rehearsal tonight, and plans to see a show with two friends this weekend. Everything's changed, and for the better, but I can distinctly remember what it was like a year ago. It wasn't that long ago. If life is a day, a year is about 15 minutes. So savor what you have now, enjoy it, if it's something good. You may not have it in a short amount of time. And if you don't like what you have, then just know it will eventually be gone, and maybe within a year also.
Life is short, but the time in which you have to live it is even shorter.
Music
I want you to do something. Another thing. I know, I'm constantly asking you to do things, but this is the most effective thing I've asked you to do so far. It will teach you something. I can almost promise you.
Next time you're on the bus alone, or bored at home, or just not doing anything that could necessarily distract you, I want you to listen to a song. I want you to listen to a song that you haven't listened to since a certain period in your life, but you used to listen to it a lot then. Just a song you played on repeat, day after day, preferably from about a year ago. Something you haven't listened to in a while. For example, I would play "The Best Day" by Taylor Swift to represent my 6th grade year, or I'd play "Seasons of Love" from RENT to represent summer camp 2011. Anyway, just choose a song, and listen to it. Either close your eyes, stare at something, or look out a window. Try not to think about anything, just listen. If you chose the right song, and are doing it right, you should get to the point where all the memories—or, more importantly, the emotions—of that period of time will come flooding back to you. Your heart may hurt, or you may feel something. Resent, anger, hurt, or longing. Or maybe a happy emotion, like excitement, surprise, or love. You'll feel something. Not because of the song you chose, and the lyrics in it or the music, but because you listened to it during that time period. Music has an effect on people that way. You may feel so much pain that you have to turn it off. That happened to me.
I was sitting on the bus, looking out the window, not talking to anyone, but listening to music, as usual. I decided to listen to Sweeney Todd that day. I chose "Green Finch and Linnet Bird". As the first few notes flew into my ears, my heart literally started hurting. I honestly felt a pang of emotion. My mind went back to the memory of standing backstage left, with Hannah, watching Anna perform that song on the top of a wagon with the yellow light glowing on her. I had to change the song, just because I missed that show so much. It was too emotional for me to take. I missed spending nights until 11 at the theatre, wearing my long skirt and reversible vest, pushing wagons and setting up the stage. I missed hanging out in the costume loft with the other techs, taking pictures and just talking. I missed meeting weird people when ushering. I missed that show. I still do. The music affected me. It sounds cliche, but it did.
The thing I learned about listening to that music, was although it reminded me of a time I miss, it reminded me what that time taught me. It reminded me of what it did for me. Listening to that music made me realize how many friends I made, and what I had started, just that one show. And I couldn't be more grateful to have been a part of that. It changed me, and my life, for the better.
So, just please listen to the music. It could remind you or lessons learned, or teach you a new one. It could change you. Maybe when you hear it, you'll hear yourself in it also.
Next time you're on the bus alone, or bored at home, or just not doing anything that could necessarily distract you, I want you to listen to a song. I want you to listen to a song that you haven't listened to since a certain period in your life, but you used to listen to it a lot then. Just a song you played on repeat, day after day, preferably from about a year ago. Something you haven't listened to in a while. For example, I would play "The Best Day" by Taylor Swift to represent my 6th grade year, or I'd play "Seasons of Love" from RENT to represent summer camp 2011. Anyway, just choose a song, and listen to it. Either close your eyes, stare at something, or look out a window. Try not to think about anything, just listen. If you chose the right song, and are doing it right, you should get to the point where all the memories—or, more importantly, the emotions—of that period of time will come flooding back to you. Your heart may hurt, or you may feel something. Resent, anger, hurt, or longing. Or maybe a happy emotion, like excitement, surprise, or love. You'll feel something. Not because of the song you chose, and the lyrics in it or the music, but because you listened to it during that time period. Music has an effect on people that way. You may feel so much pain that you have to turn it off. That happened to me.
I was sitting on the bus, looking out the window, not talking to anyone, but listening to music, as usual. I decided to listen to Sweeney Todd that day. I chose "Green Finch and Linnet Bird". As the first few notes flew into my ears, my heart literally started hurting. I honestly felt a pang of emotion. My mind went back to the memory of standing backstage left, with Hannah, watching Anna perform that song on the top of a wagon with the yellow light glowing on her. I had to change the song, just because I missed that show so much. It was too emotional for me to take. I missed spending nights until 11 at the theatre, wearing my long skirt and reversible vest, pushing wagons and setting up the stage. I missed hanging out in the costume loft with the other techs, taking pictures and just talking. I missed meeting weird people when ushering. I missed that show. I still do. The music affected me. It sounds cliche, but it did.
The thing I learned about listening to that music, was although it reminded me of a time I miss, it reminded me what that time taught me. It reminded me of what it did for me. Listening to that music made me realize how many friends I made, and what I had started, just that one show. And I couldn't be more grateful to have been a part of that. It changed me, and my life, for the better.
So, just please listen to the music. It could remind you or lessons learned, or teach you a new one. It could change you. Maybe when you hear it, you'll hear yourself in it also.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Another Note About My Writing
I don't edit my posts. I don't read over them after I'm done, to see if they sound okay, or if they're grammatically incorrect. I don't think I ever do that, actually, even when writing an essay in English class. So, if anyone reading is a Grammar Nazi like me, disregard my small errors. I try to catch any serious spelling mistakes and not be repetitive, etc., but sometimes there are one or two slip-ups. Sorry about that. But I don't edit my posts for two reasons:
First, all year long, our English teacher has been attempting to drill into our minds to have a certain "voice" when writing, and not sound like any other writer you could find anywhere. I've been intensely working on that, because in English, I haven't quite found my "voice" also while sticking to the kind of mechanics she wants us to use in our essays. In order to have any kind of "voice" on this blog, I just have to write. Actually, type. Type anything that comes to mind, and just keep typing until I've run out of words to say. Every single thing you read on here comes from me, and my life, unless I say different. Nothing you will ever read on here is edited, or proof-read. I just type it, and hit that little PUBLISH button in the top right corner of my screen. Then, boom. Whoever wants to read what I have to say is welcome to, errors and all.
The second reason I don't edit my posts is because of this thing I like to call, "The Zone". I get in this zone when I'm writing, or more commonly, reading. It may sound cheesy/stupid when you hear me attempt to describe it, but it is what it is. So. Basically it's, when I'm reading a book, literally everything fades away. Everything. You're just there, reading the book. Turning the pages, looking at words. Totally involved in the book, or the story. You can't exactly SEE what's going on, (or at least I can't), but you can FEEL it. When something bad happens, your heart starts racing, and you get scared or anxious. When something is romantic or something happy, you smile. When something is revealed, you feel relief, and can stop holding your breath. That only happens to me in a good book. And I can't SEE the characters, because I'm not a visual person. What things look like on the outside doesn't matter to me. You can go, in detail, about the colors, smells, sizes, shapes, textures, anything, and it won't matter to me. I don't necessarily care about being dropped into the middle of a situation. I, myself, care about feeling things. Having different emotions. I don't care what color a person's hair is if they're depressed and hanging themselves. I like when I can learn from a story. I like when I can be moved, or changed, because of a work of fiction. They don't move me when they explain that the curtains were a "deep, dark gray, much like the sky during a thunderstorm." They move me when something happens. Emotion is felt. And when I can feel it also. The same thing happens when I'm writing. I don't want to waste time with describing what things look like, unless it's important. I want to get to the feelings that were shown, the things that make a memorable story memorable. So I don't edit to change things so it sounds better. I don't break that zone I'm in until I'm done, and it's posted. Then, the next day, I'll read it with fresh eyes. I'll either say, "That was what I spent 10 minutes writing?" or, "That was exactly how I wanted to put it." And even if it is the first one, that's okay. That's what I thought at the time. Maybe someone will get it.
So that's basically what I wanted to say. I don't really understand the point of some of these posts, (this one, for example), but, as I've said before, maybe you'll learn something new. Maybe you'll look at somethings differently. If you know me, maybe you'll look at me differently.
First, all year long, our English teacher has been attempting to drill into our minds to have a certain "voice" when writing, and not sound like any other writer you could find anywhere. I've been intensely working on that, because in English, I haven't quite found my "voice" also while sticking to the kind of mechanics she wants us to use in our essays. In order to have any kind of "voice" on this blog, I just have to write. Actually, type. Type anything that comes to mind, and just keep typing until I've run out of words to say. Every single thing you read on here comes from me, and my life, unless I say different. Nothing you will ever read on here is edited, or proof-read. I just type it, and hit that little PUBLISH button in the top right corner of my screen. Then, boom. Whoever wants to read what I have to say is welcome to, errors and all.
The second reason I don't edit my posts is because of this thing I like to call, "The Zone". I get in this zone when I'm writing, or more commonly, reading. It may sound cheesy/stupid when you hear me attempt to describe it, but it is what it is. So. Basically it's, when I'm reading a book, literally everything fades away. Everything. You're just there, reading the book. Turning the pages, looking at words. Totally involved in the book, or the story. You can't exactly SEE what's going on, (or at least I can't), but you can FEEL it. When something bad happens, your heart starts racing, and you get scared or anxious. When something is romantic or something happy, you smile. When something is revealed, you feel relief, and can stop holding your breath. That only happens to me in a good book. And I can't SEE the characters, because I'm not a visual person. What things look like on the outside doesn't matter to me. You can go, in detail, about the colors, smells, sizes, shapes, textures, anything, and it won't matter to me. I don't necessarily care about being dropped into the middle of a situation. I, myself, care about feeling things. Having different emotions. I don't care what color a person's hair is if they're depressed and hanging themselves. I like when I can learn from a story. I like when I can be moved, or changed, because of a work of fiction. They don't move me when they explain that the curtains were a "deep, dark gray, much like the sky during a thunderstorm." They move me when something happens. Emotion is felt. And when I can feel it also. The same thing happens when I'm writing. I don't want to waste time with describing what things look like, unless it's important. I want to get to the feelings that were shown, the things that make a memorable story memorable. So I don't edit to change things so it sounds better. I don't break that zone I'm in until I'm done, and it's posted. Then, the next day, I'll read it with fresh eyes. I'll either say, "That was what I spent 10 minutes writing?" or, "That was exactly how I wanted to put it." And even if it is the first one, that's okay. That's what I thought at the time. Maybe someone will get it.
So that's basically what I wanted to say. I don't really understand the point of some of these posts, (this one, for example), but, as I've said before, maybe you'll learn something new. Maybe you'll look at somethings differently. If you know me, maybe you'll look at me differently.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Advice
I just wanted to share... With whatever readers I have... a small piece of advice that I'd given recently. This will be a short post, but maybe worthwhile. I personally connect to this a lot and it helps me when I'm facing a problem, for the most part. So here it is:
Instead of complaining about the things that you can't change, fix the things you can.
This basically means, don't dread the past. Sitting there wishing something didn't happen isn't going to reverse time. What's done is done. You can feel angry about it. Or upset, or depressed or whatever. But don't just sit there and mope. Get up, and instead of sulking about the past, alter your present to affect the future. If someone told your friend something you didn't want them to tell, don't whine about it. Be angry. Feel betrayed. But go and do something about it so it doesn't get worse and things can turn around.
Being miserable isn't going to make things any happier.
Instead of complaining about the things that you can't change, fix the things you can.
This basically means, don't dread the past. Sitting there wishing something didn't happen isn't going to reverse time. What's done is done. You can feel angry about it. Or upset, or depressed or whatever. But don't just sit there and mope. Get up, and instead of sulking about the past, alter your present to affect the future. If someone told your friend something you didn't want them to tell, don't whine about it. Be angry. Feel betrayed. But go and do something about it so it doesn't get worse and things can turn around.
Being miserable isn't going to make things any happier.
Hate
"To dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward"
That is the definition of the word, "hate". I felt the need to start this post with that particular definition because of what this post is basically going to be about: hate. Hate, and how a word like that can so commonly be used within the modern world today.
In case you haven't realized, society is stupid. Society is elusively ignorant and oblivious. And one of the things that most irritates me is how the word "hate" is so often thrown around in everyday sentences and statements. Because, as I have previously noted, society is STUPID. People every single day say, "I hate this, I hate that, I hate you, and her, and him." "I hate my life, I hate my family, I hate everything," blah blah blah. But there's one phrase that is SO commonly used, I want to yell at everyone who uses it:
"Don't hate!"
-_-
"Hate" is not being rude to someone. "Hate" is not pointing out the obvious because no one else thought of it. "Hate" is not disagreeing with someone. "Hate" is not having an opinion.
Hate is to strongly and completely and utterly dislike something, to the point where you would do almost anything to get rid of it. I can't very well describe hate, because well, it's HATE. The word was created because there's no way to properly explain how much you detest or abhor something. There really is no equivalent word to the word hate, because it's more than a word you use to describe something. It's a feeling. A feeling that doesn't come around often at all, but for some idiotic reason, people decide to use that word to describe everything.
Posting a comment saying something's stupid, you're "hating".
Explaining how that person wasn't the first one to like something, it's "hating".
Tell someone you don't agree with what they think, you're "hating".
Post a blog about your opinions on society's use of the word "hate", and I'm "hating".
I'm not telling you not to hate anything. Some people honestly (and using the correct definition of it) say not to ever hate anything at all. I'm saying that you can. You're human. Just, don't say you "hate" something when you're mad, or angry, or upset, or annoyed. Really feel it. Really mean it. Make up your mind 100%. Know there's no other possible feeling you could ever have towards it. Then you hate.
So please, don't go throwing it around. It's not a ball, and we're not playing a game of catch. It's more than a word. It's an emotion.
That is the definition of the word, "hate". I felt the need to start this post with that particular definition because of what this post is basically going to be about: hate. Hate, and how a word like that can so commonly be used within the modern world today.
In case you haven't realized, society is stupid. Society is elusively ignorant and oblivious. And one of the things that most irritates me is how the word "hate" is so often thrown around in everyday sentences and statements. Because, as I have previously noted, society is STUPID. People every single day say, "I hate this, I hate that, I hate you, and her, and him." "I hate my life, I hate my family, I hate everything," blah blah blah. But there's one phrase that is SO commonly used, I want to yell at everyone who uses it:
"Don't hate!"
-_-
"Hate" is not being rude to someone. "Hate" is not pointing out the obvious because no one else thought of it. "Hate" is not disagreeing with someone. "Hate" is not having an opinion.
Hate is to strongly and completely and utterly dislike something, to the point where you would do almost anything to get rid of it. I can't very well describe hate, because well, it's HATE. The word was created because there's no way to properly explain how much you detest or abhor something. There really is no equivalent word to the word hate, because it's more than a word you use to describe something. It's a feeling. A feeling that doesn't come around often at all, but for some idiotic reason, people decide to use that word to describe everything.
Posting a comment saying something's stupid, you're "hating".
Explaining how that person wasn't the first one to like something, it's "hating".
Tell someone you don't agree with what they think, you're "hating".
Post a blog about your opinions on society's use of the word "hate", and I'm "hating".
I'm not telling you not to hate anything. Some people honestly (and using the correct definition of it) say not to ever hate anything at all. I'm saying that you can. You're human. Just, don't say you "hate" something when you're mad, or angry, or upset, or annoyed. Really feel it. Really mean it. Make up your mind 100%. Know there's no other possible feeling you could ever have towards it. Then you hate.
So please, don't go throwing it around. It's not a ball, and we're not playing a game of catch. It's more than a word. It's an emotion.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Watch and Learn
Okay. What I'm going to ask you to is really weird/awkward/obscure. But I promise you, I have my reasons to ask you to do this. This may be pointless. You might get some strange looks from people you don't know. Someone might even come up to you and tell you to stop. Or, this may be a total success and you get a lot out of it. That's what I'm hoping for. So don't get scared yet, just keep reading, and then hopefully you'll decide to do what I want you to. If you don't, then well, you'll be the only one it retaliates on. So. Just keep reading.
I want you to look at everything.
No. I am absolutely not kidding. I honestly want you to look at strangers, acquaintances, friends, enemies, family members, neighbors, everyone. Watch animals. Watch things. Watch people. Watch the plants, the cars, the tires on the car. Watch people riding on bikes, walking to school, or eating a sandwich. Watch everything—well, almost everything.
Here's the hard part of this. It may seem easy, but I promise you, it's a lot more difficult then you think. Don't watch the main thing that's going on. If someone's in a car accident, don't look at the cars, the damage, or even the people involved. Look beyond that. Look at the background, the scenery, the things around them. Are there birds flying towards the accident, or away from it? How are the people in the cars driving by reacting towards this? How fast is the water in the puddles, lake, river or ocean moving? Look at the background. Don't watch what's going on, the usual focal point of everyone's attention. Look at the things no one pays attention to, the smallest things that could make the biggest difference. The things that just add to what's going on. It sounds easy, but trust me, when someone shoots someone else, it's gonna be a lot harder to notice what color the sunset is.
Don't just watch either. Listen. Again, here's the challenge: don't listen to the main points of conversation. Listen to the background. If there's a bus driving by, making all kinds of loud, annoying noises, listen to the trees blowing, or the other, smaller cars exhaust. Listening is a lot harder than watching is. It is proven that you automatically listen to things that someone yells, or loud noises, whether it be directed towards you, or not. You're intrigued. Interested. You might not be, but your mind is. If someone's yelling, shouldn't it be important, or worth listening to?
So, that's your challenge. Watch and listen to things, people and animals. Everything.
After reading that, you may be thinking, "I spent 3 good minutes or more of my life reading something about a girl telling us to LISTEN?" or something like that. So, like all my other posts, I will tell you the purpose of me actually writing this, and hope you understand what I'm saying.
By doing this, you can learn a lot. Yes. I know. Learning is boring. Learning is stupid. Learning is for school/nerds/geeks. I've heard it all before. But you're not learning how to write quadratic functions, or graph exponential growth. You're learning about people. People you know, and people you don't. In more specificity, you're learning about society and how it works, and why it works that way. You're getting different opinions and perspectives. But overall, you may learn about yourself.
By sitting there and watching dogs walk into yards for 20 minutes, you can learn a lot about yourself. Yes, you can learn the more obvious, external things, such as, you want a dog, you like that breed of dog, the color of the dog is cute, dogs are cute, blah blah blah. Or, you may learn a simple characteristic of yourself. Like, you have an incredibly short attention span and cannot focus on one thing for long. Or you're impatient, and waiting for what you're watching to do something interesting is taking too long. Or, if you really try, you'll learn something incredibly new about yourself, your emotions, your mind. You'll realize why you're so drawn to the background, what it's there for. You'll realize that everything has a purpose, and you have yours. You'll learn more about the world, and not the physical world, but the people within it, and how they think. How they feel. Maybe you'll realize you're not alone.
So, as I have stated above, multiple times, please: look, watch, see, hear, and experience. Learn.
I want you to look at everything.
No. I am absolutely not kidding. I honestly want you to look at strangers, acquaintances, friends, enemies, family members, neighbors, everyone. Watch animals. Watch things. Watch people. Watch the plants, the cars, the tires on the car. Watch people riding on bikes, walking to school, or eating a sandwich. Watch everything—well, almost everything.
Here's the hard part of this. It may seem easy, but I promise you, it's a lot more difficult then you think. Don't watch the main thing that's going on. If someone's in a car accident, don't look at the cars, the damage, or even the people involved. Look beyond that. Look at the background, the scenery, the things around them. Are there birds flying towards the accident, or away from it? How are the people in the cars driving by reacting towards this? How fast is the water in the puddles, lake, river or ocean moving? Look at the background. Don't watch what's going on, the usual focal point of everyone's attention. Look at the things no one pays attention to, the smallest things that could make the biggest difference. The things that just add to what's going on. It sounds easy, but trust me, when someone shoots someone else, it's gonna be a lot harder to notice what color the sunset is.
Don't just watch either. Listen. Again, here's the challenge: don't listen to the main points of conversation. Listen to the background. If there's a bus driving by, making all kinds of loud, annoying noises, listen to the trees blowing, or the other, smaller cars exhaust. Listening is a lot harder than watching is. It is proven that you automatically listen to things that someone yells, or loud noises, whether it be directed towards you, or not. You're intrigued. Interested. You might not be, but your mind is. If someone's yelling, shouldn't it be important, or worth listening to?
So, that's your challenge. Watch and listen to things, people and animals. Everything.
After reading that, you may be thinking, "I spent 3 good minutes or more of my life reading something about a girl telling us to LISTEN?" or something like that. So, like all my other posts, I will tell you the purpose of me actually writing this, and hope you understand what I'm saying.
By doing this, you can learn a lot. Yes. I know. Learning is boring. Learning is stupid. Learning is for school/nerds/geeks. I've heard it all before. But you're not learning how to write quadratic functions, or graph exponential growth. You're learning about people. People you know, and people you don't. In more specificity, you're learning about society and how it works, and why it works that way. You're getting different opinions and perspectives. But overall, you may learn about yourself.
By sitting there and watching dogs walk into yards for 20 minutes, you can learn a lot about yourself. Yes, you can learn the more obvious, external things, such as, you want a dog, you like that breed of dog, the color of the dog is cute, dogs are cute, blah blah blah. Or, you may learn a simple characteristic of yourself. Like, you have an incredibly short attention span and cannot focus on one thing for long. Or you're impatient, and waiting for what you're watching to do something interesting is taking too long. Or, if you really try, you'll learn something incredibly new about yourself, your emotions, your mind. You'll realize why you're so drawn to the background, what it's there for. You'll realize that everything has a purpose, and you have yours. You'll learn more about the world, and not the physical world, but the people within it, and how they think. How they feel. Maybe you'll realize you're not alone.
So, as I have stated above, multiple times, please: look, watch, see, hear, and experience. Learn.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Read and Think.
If you've clicked on this, I want you to keep reading. Throughout the entire thing, I want you to think about what I'm saying. Agree, disagree, it doesn't matter. Just read, and think.
I know that you have, at least once in your life, felt like someone was better than you. Like someone was smarter, funnier, better-looking, nicer, more social, more talented, or had more friends than you. Maybe all at once. That person you're comparing yourself to could be anyone. Your enemy, your neighbor, your family member, a stranger, a classmate, co-worker, even your best friend. But it doesn't matter who they are. All that matters is that they make you feel bad about yourself. Like there's so much more you could be, that they are. And you want to either stop being yourself, or stop being a part of you, to be them. That feeling is called "jealousy".
Yeah, I know you know what it is. I know you've had it before, and known the definition of it for a while. I've had it. I have it all the time. As I've explained in an earlier post, some people (including I), have felt bad about having jealousy, since it's not the best thing to have. But we can't help it. We can't tell ourselves not to have it. All we can do is live up to it, and say, "Yes. I have jealousy. All the time. And I don't care." Because we shouldn't be concerned about having jealousy. We should be concerned about what we do with it after we have it.
We shouldn't stop being ourselves because we want to be someone else. Do you really think that you were put on this Earth because there were meant to be two of the same people? No. You're here because you have the ability to make an impact, and a difference in the world, if you have the will, the drive, the motivation. "Only you can be the change you want to see in the world." That quote has been over-used, but it's true, when you think about it. It really is.
So when you're feeling jealous, or like you're not good enough, just remember, you are who you are so you can be someone and do something great. There is at least one person on this Earth that appreciates who you are, more than anything else. There's someone that cares about you. There's someone that believes in you. Even if I don't know you, I do. I believe in you. I believe that everyone can do something great, just because of who they are. Not because of who someone else wants them to be.
I know that you have, at least once in your life, felt like someone was better than you. Like someone was smarter, funnier, better-looking, nicer, more social, more talented, or had more friends than you. Maybe all at once. That person you're comparing yourself to could be anyone. Your enemy, your neighbor, your family member, a stranger, a classmate, co-worker, even your best friend. But it doesn't matter who they are. All that matters is that they make you feel bad about yourself. Like there's so much more you could be, that they are. And you want to either stop being yourself, or stop being a part of you, to be them. That feeling is called "jealousy".
Yeah, I know you know what it is. I know you've had it before, and known the definition of it for a while. I've had it. I have it all the time. As I've explained in an earlier post, some people (including I), have felt bad about having jealousy, since it's not the best thing to have. But we can't help it. We can't tell ourselves not to have it. All we can do is live up to it, and say, "Yes. I have jealousy. All the time. And I don't care." Because we shouldn't be concerned about having jealousy. We should be concerned about what we do with it after we have it.
We shouldn't stop being ourselves because we want to be someone else. Do you really think that you were put on this Earth because there were meant to be two of the same people? No. You're here because you have the ability to make an impact, and a difference in the world, if you have the will, the drive, the motivation. "Only you can be the change you want to see in the world." That quote has been over-used, but it's true, when you think about it. It really is.
So when you're feeling jealous, or like you're not good enough, just remember, you are who you are so you can be someone and do something great. There is at least one person on this Earth that appreciates who you are, more than anything else. There's someone that cares about you. There's someone that believes in you. Even if I don't know you, I do. I believe in you. I believe that everyone can do something great, just because of who they are. Not because of who someone else wants them to be.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Jealousy
One of the Ten Commandments is, "Thou shalt not envy they neighbor". Which basically means, "Don't be jealous". Well, since I don't lie, I'm not going to pretend like I'm never jealous. Because to be completely and utterly honest, I am constantly jealous. It's not because I'm not grateful for what I have. It's not because I want to live a different life. It's because I'm human. And I'd be astonished if there actually was someone on this Earth who was never once jealous. Because let's be truthful, we all get jealous. It's because we're human.
I get incredibly jealous about every little thing. If I know you, and you're reading this, I know I am absolutely and positively jealous of at least one thing about you. I can only think of maybe two people I know that I'm not at all jealous of. So, if you want to know what I'm jealous of about you, go ahead and ask me. I'll honestly tell you. You'd probably be incredibly surprised.
I get jealous a lot because I have incredibly strong opinions and feelings on things. If I want something, I want it. And if you have it, I am jealous. That's just the way it works. I get jealous over stupid things. If I want to talk to a person and they're even having the smallest conversation with someone else, I envy the person who they're talking to. I'd be incredibly surprised if that never happened to you.
Sometimes I feel bad about how jealous I get. I've always been taught, "Don't be jealous. You're living a wonderful life that some kids aren't, and you should always be grateful, and...". But I am not going to lie and say I never have envy towards anyone. Because I do. And I know for a fact that at least one person reading this right now has felt bad about being jealous. And we really shouldn't.
Everything that you do, everything that you say, everything that you think, all make up who you really are. Everything that you want makes up who you really are, also. When you're jealous, it shows you want something so much to envy someone else for having it. It shows that you really love it. It shows that you really care. That's what makes you more of a person. And when you fully admit that you want it, and you're jealous, it makes you a better person. It really does.
I get incredibly jealous about every little thing. If I know you, and you're reading this, I know I am absolutely and positively jealous of at least one thing about you. I can only think of maybe two people I know that I'm not at all jealous of. So, if you want to know what I'm jealous of about you, go ahead and ask me. I'll honestly tell you. You'd probably be incredibly surprised.
I get jealous a lot because I have incredibly strong opinions and feelings on things. If I want something, I want it. And if you have it, I am jealous. That's just the way it works. I get jealous over stupid things. If I want to talk to a person and they're even having the smallest conversation with someone else, I envy the person who they're talking to. I'd be incredibly surprised if that never happened to you.
Sometimes I feel bad about how jealous I get. I've always been taught, "Don't be jealous. You're living a wonderful life that some kids aren't, and you should always be grateful, and...". But I am not going to lie and say I never have envy towards anyone. Because I do. And I know for a fact that at least one person reading this right now has felt bad about being jealous. And we really shouldn't.
Everything that you do, everything that you say, everything that you think, all make up who you really are. Everything that you want makes up who you really are, also. When you're jealous, it shows you want something so much to envy someone else for having it. It shows that you really love it. It shows that you really care. That's what makes you more of a person. And when you fully admit that you want it, and you're jealous, it makes you a better person. It really does.
A Better Person
"People come into our lives for a reason." Possibly one of the best known quotes of all time. You can ask almost anyone if they've heard this, and I can guarantee you they'll say yes. But not only is it well known, but it's also very well shown. Everyone truly does walk into your life for a reason. Even if it's for 10 minutes, or 10 years. No matter what role they play, they always teach you something. Whether they be your best friend, or your worst enemy.
You can have a person who you hate to an extreme amount, and still learn from them. You can learn anything from anyone. And when I say "learn", I don't mean learn how to do something. I mean that you learn something about yourself. About life. About how to live it.
The thing I've most learned from someone I disliked was persistence. I learned the importance of perseverance and pushing on when things got hard. People can make your life miserable, and a horrible place to be, but it is physically impossible for them to do it forever, especially if you have the will to keep on, even after things get incredibly difficult. People can do things that make you upset without them realizing it, and you just have to keep on. Keep moving forward. The other thing I have learned from people I dislike is the importance of being driven. The people that bully you every day or make fun of you are kind of inspiring when you think about it. Sure they're horrible people, but they have something a lot of people don't have. They have motivation. Yes, what they're doing isn't the best thing to be doing, but they have a motivation. The work restlessly, feverishly, and tirelessly to achieve their goal. If you take their motivation and drive, and put it into something that you truly care about, and work at it, you can get there. They did. When you think about it, they're not just bad people. They have flaws like you do, but they also have certain characteristics that some don't have. You can always learn from people, no matter who they are.
You can learn from experiences also. Bad and good. It's your experiences who shape who you are, and help you throughout life. The important thing is to learn something from even the worst experiences. Maybe you feel like one of your friends is turning on you because she's betraying your trust. Even though that's a hard thing to go through, you'd probably learn something about yourself in the end, or learn how to deal with it. Or maybe your friend was your best friend, but she started saying things about you behind your back. All of it makes you stronger. Every hard thing that happens makes you tougher. You've made it through another hard time. And even if you didn't learn anything about yourself, you can always tell someone going through a hard time you were in a situation similar to it. And you made it through.
Every singe person that walks into your life, for better, or for worse, is there to teach you something. Whether it's a huge lesson, or a small one, it's still a lesson. It still made an impact, and will continue to make an impact, on your life, for a very long time. So don't think that years were wasted with your friend after you decide not to be friends anymore. You learned something. It made you more of a person. A stronger person. It made you a better person.
You can have a person who you hate to an extreme amount, and still learn from them. You can learn anything from anyone. And when I say "learn", I don't mean learn how to do something. I mean that you learn something about yourself. About life. About how to live it.
The thing I've most learned from someone I disliked was persistence. I learned the importance of perseverance and pushing on when things got hard. People can make your life miserable, and a horrible place to be, but it is physically impossible for them to do it forever, especially if you have the will to keep on, even after things get incredibly difficult. People can do things that make you upset without them realizing it, and you just have to keep on. Keep moving forward. The other thing I have learned from people I dislike is the importance of being driven. The people that bully you every day or make fun of you are kind of inspiring when you think about it. Sure they're horrible people, but they have something a lot of people don't have. They have motivation. Yes, what they're doing isn't the best thing to be doing, but they have a motivation. The work restlessly, feverishly, and tirelessly to achieve their goal. If you take their motivation and drive, and put it into something that you truly care about, and work at it, you can get there. They did. When you think about it, they're not just bad people. They have flaws like you do, but they also have certain characteristics that some don't have. You can always learn from people, no matter who they are.
You can learn from experiences also. Bad and good. It's your experiences who shape who you are, and help you throughout life. The important thing is to learn something from even the worst experiences. Maybe you feel like one of your friends is turning on you because she's betraying your trust. Even though that's a hard thing to go through, you'd probably learn something about yourself in the end, or learn how to deal with it. Or maybe your friend was your best friend, but she started saying things about you behind your back. All of it makes you stronger. Every hard thing that happens makes you tougher. You've made it through another hard time. And even if you didn't learn anything about yourself, you can always tell someone going through a hard time you were in a situation similar to it. And you made it through.
Every singe person that walks into your life, for better, or for worse, is there to teach you something. Whether it's a huge lesson, or a small one, it's still a lesson. It still made an impact, and will continue to make an impact, on your life, for a very long time. So don't think that years were wasted with your friend after you decide not to be friends anymore. You learned something. It made you more of a person. A stronger person. It made you a better person.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
If I Told You
Last night I watched The Wedding Singer at our local theater. It was a nice change since it'd been almost a year since I'd actually sat and just watched a show. And this specific show was fantastic one to watch because I could just enjoy it. It was funny, romantic and sad all at the same time. It was actually an incredibly hilarious show, and I was really impressed with how the actor and actresses were able to pull off every single joke, since there were so many of them. It was an extremely humorous show, but it was also a really cute, show. I highly admire the writers of it to be able to develop a show so incredibly well written. But I'm not writing this because I want to give a review of the musical (12 out of 10 stars), but because I really connected to a lot to it. Especially one particular song, called, "If I Told You".
"If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know"
That was the chorus. I feel like that in specific kind of describes a lot of peoples lives. We all have some kid of secret we're hiding, even if it's just from ourselves. If I know you and you're reading this right now, I can PROMISE you there's something I want to tell you, something that you don't know. It happens to all of us. You can walk around saying, "I'm so confident, I can talk to anyone, I can do anything, I have no secrets, I don't hide anything," when, to be honest, we all have at least one secret. We all have one thing we really want to say, but we can't. Because we don't know how they'd react. We don't know their judgement. And that's what makes it hard.
I remember in 6th grade, I had SO MUCH I hid. From everyone. I had so much I wanted to say, that I never did, because I didn't know the result. Sometimes even now, a year later, I think about telling people what I really thought about them back then. But then I think, "I don't know what they'll do, or say. Why should I risk what I have right now?" and I know we all think that. Whether you want to tell your friend that you're in love with them, or tell your "friend" that you hate everything about them, it's almost never said to them. Why? Because we want our friend to stay our friend if they don't like us back. Because we want our "friend" to not hate us and make us miserable because of what you said. It happens. It happens to everyone.
The point of this whole thing is, I suggest you tell people how you feel. What you want to say. Because even though it may seem stupid, I promise that it will soon enough be okay if it doesn't work out. I've had some miserable times so far because I haven't taken charge of my life. I haven't told people how I felt. I haven't done things I really should have. And I've found out that if I had said what I wanted when I got the chance, something great could've happened. Something different. So just take charge of your life. Don't be scared. This is probably totally hypocritical, because I can almost promise you that I won't do what I'm telling you to. But just because I'm not taking my own advice doesn't mean you shouldn't.
I know I have people who probably want to say things to me. I don't know who, and I don't know whether it's good or bad. I don't know what it is. I have absolutely no suspicions in my mind. But if you're reading this, and you know me, and you have something to tell me, I advise you to say it. I want you to tell me. I like knowing what people think of me, because even if it's something I don't want to hear, I'm not being lied to. I'd rather be told the bare truth than have someone try to soften the things that are made to be harsh.
And if you don't know me, well, maybe you should tell someone what you want to say. Do what you want to do. Go on. I dare you.
"If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know"
That was the chorus. I feel like that in specific kind of describes a lot of peoples lives. We all have some kid of secret we're hiding, even if it's just from ourselves. If I know you and you're reading this right now, I can PROMISE you there's something I want to tell you, something that you don't know. It happens to all of us. You can walk around saying, "I'm so confident, I can talk to anyone, I can do anything, I have no secrets, I don't hide anything," when, to be honest, we all have at least one secret. We all have one thing we really want to say, but we can't. Because we don't know how they'd react. We don't know their judgement. And that's what makes it hard.
I remember in 6th grade, I had SO MUCH I hid. From everyone. I had so much I wanted to say, that I never did, because I didn't know the result. Sometimes even now, a year later, I think about telling people what I really thought about them back then. But then I think, "I don't know what they'll do, or say. Why should I risk what I have right now?" and I know we all think that. Whether you want to tell your friend that you're in love with them, or tell your "friend" that you hate everything about them, it's almost never said to them. Why? Because we want our friend to stay our friend if they don't like us back. Because we want our "friend" to not hate us and make us miserable because of what you said. It happens. It happens to everyone.
The point of this whole thing is, I suggest you tell people how you feel. What you want to say. Because even though it may seem stupid, I promise that it will soon enough be okay if it doesn't work out. I've had some miserable times so far because I haven't taken charge of my life. I haven't told people how I felt. I haven't done things I really should have. And I've found out that if I had said what I wanted when I got the chance, something great could've happened. Something different. So just take charge of your life. Don't be scared. This is probably totally hypocritical, because I can almost promise you that I won't do what I'm telling you to. But just because I'm not taking my own advice doesn't mean you shouldn't.
I know I have people who probably want to say things to me. I don't know who, and I don't know whether it's good or bad. I don't know what it is. I have absolutely no suspicions in my mind. But if you're reading this, and you know me, and you have something to tell me, I advise you to say it. I want you to tell me. I like knowing what people think of me, because even if it's something I don't want to hear, I'm not being lied to. I'd rather be told the bare truth than have someone try to soften the things that are made to be harsh.
And if you don't know me, well, maybe you should tell someone what you want to say. Do what you want to do. Go on. I dare you.
A Note About My Writing
Some people write blogs about their day. They describe whatever happened that day using figurative language, sensory detail, and descriptive words so you feel like you're watching their day unfold. Some people write blogs about their thoughts. Others write about certain points during their day that inspire them. I'm taking a different route.
I write about the things that come to mind. Not just, "What's for dinner?" or, "What time is rehearsal?". I write about certain things that someone said or did to inspire me to think. And then I write. You will almost never see me tell a story about my day. You won't hear, "I went to the mall with my friends, and it made me think...". You won't ever on this blog see me explain an event that happened that day simply because I thought the event was interesting. On the other hand, you will hear me say something about what someone said or did. And then you'll hear my opinions and thoughts on it. I feel like if I'm making a blog, taking time to write it, and then you taking time to read it, it should be about something that is gravely important to me, or was stuck in my mind for days. Not something you really don't care so much about.
So if you're looking to learn about my day, or who I am, or my interests, you shouldn't look to find it here. What you'll be learning on this is what I think, what I feel, and what I believe. So you'll be taking a look inside my brain. I don't expect to inspire anyone to go and make a huge difference in the world or anything, but maybe you'll think of some things differently. And if you know me, maybe you'll think of me differently.
I write about the things that come to mind. Not just, "What's for dinner?" or, "What time is rehearsal?". I write about certain things that someone said or did to inspire me to think. And then I write. You will almost never see me tell a story about my day. You won't hear, "I went to the mall with my friends, and it made me think...". You won't ever on this blog see me explain an event that happened that day simply because I thought the event was interesting. On the other hand, you will hear me say something about what someone said or did. And then you'll hear my opinions and thoughts on it. I feel like if I'm making a blog, taking time to write it, and then you taking time to read it, it should be about something that is gravely important to me, or was stuck in my mind for days. Not something you really don't care so much about.
So if you're looking to learn about my day, or who I am, or my interests, you shouldn't look to find it here. What you'll be learning on this is what I think, what I feel, and what I believe. So you'll be taking a look inside my brain. I don't expect to inspire anyone to go and make a huge difference in the world or anything, but maybe you'll think of some things differently. And if you know me, maybe you'll think of me differently.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Who Would You Die For?
So today during lunch, the question that I'm sure everyone has pondered at least once in their life came up at our table. "If I was going to die, would you die to save my life?"
The person asking the question (let's call her Person A) asked it to one of her best friends (Person B). Her exact words were, "If I were about to be hit by a car, would you jump in the way to save me, if you were going to be hit?" (Note that Person A said "be hit" not "die".) Person B's response was the thing that most shocked me all day. All week, actually. It was... "No."
So I then tried the question with her in a different way. "If Person A was GOING TO DIE, would you jump in front of the car and risk your own life?" (Note that I said "risk your life" not "die".) Person B's answer was again, "No."
It surprised me to an extreme amount that Person B wouldn't even RISK her life to SAVE her BEST FRIEND'S. I really don't know what kind of person is so selfish that they wouldn't sacrifice their own for their friends. Especially for their friends. I was never one to really like this person, we had some problems back in 4th grade (okay, MAJOR problems) and I knew she was selfish, but I didn't know she truly and honestly cared about her life over anyone else's. I really did not expect that.
Everyone else's answer was, of course, "Yes". Everyone said they would risk their lives to save anyone's life, even a stranger. But they all agreed that they wouldn't save someone's life like Hitler or Bin Laden, because they deserved it. I had a different opinion.
I would save anyone's life and completely give up my own knowing that their life would be spared. I completely and honestly would. For my friends, family, acquaintances, and total strangers. Even people who had done something wrong. I'm an optimist. I like to think everything can work out for the better, and I think everything does. If you can save that one person, they may feel grateful, and relieved, and joyful, and loved. And like they too, can make a difference, a positive impact on the world. They might feel inspired. They might have a change of heart. And suddenly, the person who was once so horrible and mean... Isn't. It sounds ridiculous, but that's what I believe.
The thing that really shocked me about what Person A said though, was not that she wouldn't risk her life for her friend's safety. It wasn't that she's that selfish. It's that she told the truth. As much as I dislike the person, I admire that. That even though she's so conceited and self-centered, she's honest. That she didn't make up a lie to save her reputation. I think we can all learn from that.
So after reading this, think about that question. Honestly. You don't have to share your opinion with others. No one has to know. But don't lie to yourself.
Who would you die for?
The person asking the question (let's call her Person A) asked it to one of her best friends (Person B). Her exact words were, "If I were about to be hit by a car, would you jump in the way to save me, if you were going to be hit?" (Note that Person A said "be hit" not "die".) Person B's response was the thing that most shocked me all day. All week, actually. It was... "No."
So I then tried the question with her in a different way. "If Person A was GOING TO DIE, would you jump in front of the car and risk your own life?" (Note that I said "risk your life" not "die".) Person B's answer was again, "No."
It surprised me to an extreme amount that Person B wouldn't even RISK her life to SAVE her BEST FRIEND'S. I really don't know what kind of person is so selfish that they wouldn't sacrifice their own for their friends. Especially for their friends. I was never one to really like this person, we had some problems back in 4th grade (okay, MAJOR problems) and I knew she was selfish, but I didn't know she truly and honestly cared about her life over anyone else's. I really did not expect that.
Everyone else's answer was, of course, "Yes". Everyone said they would risk their lives to save anyone's life, even a stranger. But they all agreed that they wouldn't save someone's life like Hitler or Bin Laden, because they deserved it. I had a different opinion.
I would save anyone's life and completely give up my own knowing that their life would be spared. I completely and honestly would. For my friends, family, acquaintances, and total strangers. Even people who had done something wrong. I'm an optimist. I like to think everything can work out for the better, and I think everything does. If you can save that one person, they may feel grateful, and relieved, and joyful, and loved. And like they too, can make a difference, a positive impact on the world. They might feel inspired. They might have a change of heart. And suddenly, the person who was once so horrible and mean... Isn't. It sounds ridiculous, but that's what I believe.
The thing that really shocked me about what Person A said though, was not that she wouldn't risk her life for her friend's safety. It wasn't that she's that selfish. It's that she told the truth. As much as I dislike the person, I admire that. That even though she's so conceited and self-centered, she's honest. That she didn't make up a lie to save her reputation. I think we can all learn from that.
So after reading this, think about that question. Honestly. You don't have to share your opinion with others. No one has to know. But don't lie to yourself.
Who would you die for?
Monday, April 9, 2012
Perspective
So, a word that's been provoking me lately is "perspective". Since the beginning of the school year, it's been mentioned, and today in specific it's been showing up quite a bit.
In English class, we've been watching "Uncle Tom's Cabin" (it'd take too long to read it), which is basically about the happenings during the Civil War and such. So, after a scene or two, our teacher will stop the movie and explain to us what she wanted us to understand from that part of the movie. So at one part today, she stopped it and told us to look at the different perspectives of the people in the film. It was a scene where slaves were being bought and sold. In it was the seller, the buyer, Uncle Tom (a slave), another slave (14 years old), and the mother of the 14 year old. My teacher told us about all of the different views of the characters. Why they were doing what they did. In the buyer's mind, blacks weren't citizens, and purely made for working. He didn't think this because he was a bad person. Because society taught him that way. But to the slave being bought, the buyer was cold-hearted and cruel. It all depended on how you looked at it.
Earlier today, my mom was yelling at me for being selfish and having a bad attitude. After I started thinking about it, I had realized I WAS having a bad attitude. But I didn't think I was being selfish. My mom thought that because she hadn't bothered to look at MY perspective of the situation. She was just looking at everything she thought, and how she thought I should be acting, when there's a WHOLE other side to the story.
Again, in English class, last Thursday, we were talking about the well-known Trayyon Martin case. It had started out with the idea that an innocent, African-American boy was shot, by a white man, with no good reason. But that's just what the media told us. They made us want to believe that it was yet another racial issue. This is called "yellow journalism". The media and the press tells us what we want to hear, that there's a scandal, or a good story happening, when there's more going on then what they tell you. As it turns out, Trayyon Martin was NOT the smiling, happy kid you see in the pictures of him. He was one of the people, as my teacher put it, "with sagging pants, who walk slow, and had suspicious actions." He very well could not have been innocent as he was shot. And yes, he was black, but the man who shot him, as it was later uncovered, is not white. He's Mexican. And he's not the frowning face you see in the mug shot. He's a happy guy. The media took one side of the story and made it news. Not looking at someone's perspective pushed everyone's opinions to what the press wanted everyone to think.
But out of everything, the thing that most interested me about perspective was said in enrichment at the very beginning of the year, when we were discussing 9/11. The teacher was telling us about terrorists. His exact words were,
"To you and I, terrorists are horrible people. We don't know why they do what they do. We just know it's not something acceptable in this country, and we find it incredibly terrible that any human being could do anything like that. But to the terrorists themselves, they're freedom-fighters. They have a motive, they have a reason for doing what they do. They don't think of bombing airplanes as a horrible thing, as we do. It's all about opinion. It's all about perspective."
That, of course, was not the first time I heard that word. That wasn't the first time I learned what it meant. That was just the first time it made an impact on me. That was the first time I ever realized what perspective could do, and what it could cause. Because of not respecting one's perspective, my mom is mad at me. The Civil War started, and segregation continued. The entire country is angry and outraged by a man who was indeed at fault, but isn't entirely to blame. And so much more. So just look at not only your perspective, but others also. In everything you do, say, or think. It may cause something great.
In English class, we've been watching "Uncle Tom's Cabin" (it'd take too long to read it), which is basically about the happenings during the Civil War and such. So, after a scene or two, our teacher will stop the movie and explain to us what she wanted us to understand from that part of the movie. So at one part today, she stopped it and told us to look at the different perspectives of the people in the film. It was a scene where slaves were being bought and sold. In it was the seller, the buyer, Uncle Tom (a slave), another slave (14 years old), and the mother of the 14 year old. My teacher told us about all of the different views of the characters. Why they were doing what they did. In the buyer's mind, blacks weren't citizens, and purely made for working. He didn't think this because he was a bad person. Because society taught him that way. But to the slave being bought, the buyer was cold-hearted and cruel. It all depended on how you looked at it.
Earlier today, my mom was yelling at me for being selfish and having a bad attitude. After I started thinking about it, I had realized I WAS having a bad attitude. But I didn't think I was being selfish. My mom thought that because she hadn't bothered to look at MY perspective of the situation. She was just looking at everything she thought, and how she thought I should be acting, when there's a WHOLE other side to the story.
Again, in English class, last Thursday, we were talking about the well-known Trayyon Martin case. It had started out with the idea that an innocent, African-American boy was shot, by a white man, with no good reason. But that's just what the media told us. They made us want to believe that it was yet another racial issue. This is called "yellow journalism". The media and the press tells us what we want to hear, that there's a scandal, or a good story happening, when there's more going on then what they tell you. As it turns out, Trayyon Martin was NOT the smiling, happy kid you see in the pictures of him. He was one of the people, as my teacher put it, "with sagging pants, who walk slow, and had suspicious actions." He very well could not have been innocent as he was shot. And yes, he was black, but the man who shot him, as it was later uncovered, is not white. He's Mexican. And he's not the frowning face you see in the mug shot. He's a happy guy. The media took one side of the story and made it news. Not looking at someone's perspective pushed everyone's opinions to what the press wanted everyone to think.
But out of everything, the thing that most interested me about perspective was said in enrichment at the very beginning of the year, when we were discussing 9/11. The teacher was telling us about terrorists. His exact words were,
"To you and I, terrorists are horrible people. We don't know why they do what they do. We just know it's not something acceptable in this country, and we find it incredibly terrible that any human being could do anything like that. But to the terrorists themselves, they're freedom-fighters. They have a motive, they have a reason for doing what they do. They don't think of bombing airplanes as a horrible thing, as we do. It's all about opinion. It's all about perspective."
That, of course, was not the first time I heard that word. That wasn't the first time I learned what it meant. That was just the first time it made an impact on me. That was the first time I ever realized what perspective could do, and what it could cause. Because of not respecting one's perspective, my mom is mad at me. The Civil War started, and segregation continued. The entire country is angry and outraged by a man who was indeed at fault, but isn't entirely to blame. And so much more. So just look at not only your perspective, but others also. In everything you do, say, or think. It may cause something great.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Viewpoints on Selfishness
So, a couple of days ago, I read a book called "13 Gifts" by Wendy Mass. It's basically about a girl who moves to a different town, and learns a lot about herself, and the world around her. A lot happens in the book leading up to the morals of the story at the end, but there was one part I found particularly intriguing. Here it is:
I look down at my hands. "But you know I didn't do any of this for them. I did it all because you told me there was something I needed to know that I could only find out after putting on this play. I never stopped to think what anyone else needed, or wanted, at all. I can't take any of the credit."
She laughs. "Of course you can! Are you so self-centered that you think the universe cares what your motivations are? If a wealthy businessman donates ten million dollars to build a new hospital, would it matter if he only did it to get a building named after him? Not to the people inside it. If everyone waited to do something good until they had purely unselfish motivations, no good would ever get done in the world. The point is to do it anyway. To do it at all."
So, I started thinking about this, and I believe what was said here. I feel that there is always some sort of selfish motivation in everything, after all, we're only human. It might be an awful thing to think, but I feel like it's true. And there's nothing wrong with that, because we're human. Everything I do does indeed have a selfish motivation, and I'm not afraid to admit that. I'm not going to lie and say that I do everything out of the pure kindness of my heart, because I don't. And that's okay. I'm human.
Anyway, the day after I read that book, my English teacher was talking to our class, and completely contradicted everything this book just stated. Her words were something more like this:
"The whole idea of what I'm trying to teach you with this unit is to be a good person. Don't be selfish, do things because you know it's the right thing to do. For example, I know a lot of you have been asking me to sign your papers for NJHS. Well, who in here honestly wants to do NJHS for the good of it? To actually do your 15 service hours because it's the right thing to do? Instead of only wanting to be in NJHS so it'll look good on your applications and such? Maybe one or two of you, if any. The point is to do things out of the kindness of your heart, without any regards to yourself, or what you'll be benefiting from it."
So, I continued to think about it, and I still believed what I had read in the book. I asked my mom today what her opinion on the idea was, and she basically agreed with my English teacher, except she explained why:
"I completely disagree with the book. I refuse to believe that every single person on this Earth has only selfish motivations. You see stories all the time about people who do things just for the good of it. Who stay anonymous even when they do something that could change someone's life. There are people on this planet that are good enough to do everything out of the kindness of their heart. A lot of nice things could be done if everyone waited until they had purely unselfish motivations to do something. I refuse to agree with the book."
After that logic, I don't really know what to think. So, taking everything that has been said here, what are your opinions on this? If you'r reading this and you come up with an opinion, you don't have to post it as a comment or anything. Just think about it. Figure out your idea of goodness. Is everyone on Earth really selfish like that? Or is it the other way around? Just think about it. And if I've provoked you enough, write about it. I hope I inspired something.
I look down at my hands. "But you know I didn't do any of this for them. I did it all because you told me there was something I needed to know that I could only find out after putting on this play. I never stopped to think what anyone else needed, or wanted, at all. I can't take any of the credit."
She laughs. "Of course you can! Are you so self-centered that you think the universe cares what your motivations are? If a wealthy businessman donates ten million dollars to build a new hospital, would it matter if he only did it to get a building named after him? Not to the people inside it. If everyone waited to do something good until they had purely unselfish motivations, no good would ever get done in the world. The point is to do it anyway. To do it at all."
So, I started thinking about this, and I believe what was said here. I feel that there is always some sort of selfish motivation in everything, after all, we're only human. It might be an awful thing to think, but I feel like it's true. And there's nothing wrong with that, because we're human. Everything I do does indeed have a selfish motivation, and I'm not afraid to admit that. I'm not going to lie and say that I do everything out of the pure kindness of my heart, because I don't. And that's okay. I'm human.
Anyway, the day after I read that book, my English teacher was talking to our class, and completely contradicted everything this book just stated. Her words were something more like this:
"The whole idea of what I'm trying to teach you with this unit is to be a good person. Don't be selfish, do things because you know it's the right thing to do. For example, I know a lot of you have been asking me to sign your papers for NJHS. Well, who in here honestly wants to do NJHS for the good of it? To actually do your 15 service hours because it's the right thing to do? Instead of only wanting to be in NJHS so it'll look good on your applications and such? Maybe one or two of you, if any. The point is to do things out of the kindness of your heart, without any regards to yourself, or what you'll be benefiting from it."
So, I continued to think about it, and I still believed what I had read in the book. I asked my mom today what her opinion on the idea was, and she basically agreed with my English teacher, except she explained why:
"I completely disagree with the book. I refuse to believe that every single person on this Earth has only selfish motivations. You see stories all the time about people who do things just for the good of it. Who stay anonymous even when they do something that could change someone's life. There are people on this planet that are good enough to do everything out of the kindness of their heart. A lot of nice things could be done if everyone waited until they had purely unselfish motivations to do something. I refuse to agree with the book."
After that logic, I don't really know what to think. So, taking everything that has been said here, what are your opinions on this? If you'r reading this and you come up with an opinion, you don't have to post it as a comment or anything. Just think about it. Figure out your idea of goodness. Is everyone on Earth really selfish like that? Or is it the other way around? Just think about it. And if I've provoked you enough, write about it. I hope I inspired something.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Introducing me.
I write. I write a lot. People just don't know it. I write almost everything. Journals, stories, poems, songs, book reviews, scripts for plays I make up, you name it. The only thing I don't write for fun are essays. But that's because I get enough of those at school. A lot of people write because they want to be an author when they grow up, or they simply have to get their thoughts out of their head. That's not me. I write because I talk a lot. But I don't talk for the nature of talking, or entertaining someone with my words. I talk because I have a lot to say. I have strong opinions on most everything. I feel the need to let people know what I feel. And when I don't think there's anyone that wants to listen, I write.
I have strong opinions on everything because I think a lot also. I over-think EVERYTHING. I think about everything that provokes me until it means something completely different. For example, if someone says something that piques my interest and I want to know what it means, I imagine every possible thing that it could have meant, and analyze exactly what they said, how they said it, what their facial expression did they have on when they said it, what their body language was, who they said it to, when they said it, what was the point of conversation before they said it, what could have made then say that, everything. I over-think and over-analyze everything until I can't keep track of what I've come up with. So I write. Sometimes, I literally sit in my room, and think. Just think about everything significant that's happened to me in the past day, or week, or month. I think a lot, so I talk a lot, so I write a lot. I'm a really emotional person. If you bother to read my next blogs, you'll probably realize that.
If you keep reading my blogs, you'll learn much more about me. Actually, you'll probably learn more about me than my friends know. They know what's on the outside, and some of what's in my brain. You'll learn everything going on inside. For someone who's my age, I feel like I'm an incredibly deep person. So after reading this, you may decide to give up on reading what I post. Or you may be intrigued by what I have to say. You may be entertained. I hope you are. I may be talking to myself right now. My friends might be reading this, and keeping it a secret (hi guys). There might be a person I don't know reading this, and they actually enjoy learning what goes on in my mind. I hope there is. So, do what you want after this. Continue to look at my posts, or not. It doesn't really matter. At least my thoughts are out there.
I have strong opinions on everything because I think a lot also. I over-think EVERYTHING. I think about everything that provokes me until it means something completely different. For example, if someone says something that piques my interest and I want to know what it means, I imagine every possible thing that it could have meant, and analyze exactly what they said, how they said it, what their facial expression did they have on when they said it, what their body language was, who they said it to, when they said it, what was the point of conversation before they said it, what could have made then say that, everything. I over-think and over-analyze everything until I can't keep track of what I've come up with. So I write. Sometimes, I literally sit in my room, and think. Just think about everything significant that's happened to me in the past day, or week, or month. I think a lot, so I talk a lot, so I write a lot. I'm a really emotional person. If you bother to read my next blogs, you'll probably realize that.
If you keep reading my blogs, you'll learn much more about me. Actually, you'll probably learn more about me than my friends know. They know what's on the outside, and some of what's in my brain. You'll learn everything going on inside. For someone who's my age, I feel like I'm an incredibly deep person. So after reading this, you may decide to give up on reading what I post. Or you may be intrigued by what I have to say. You may be entertained. I hope you are. I may be talking to myself right now. My friends might be reading this, and keeping it a secret (hi guys). There might be a person I don't know reading this, and they actually enjoy learning what goes on in my mind. I hope there is. So, do what you want after this. Continue to look at my posts, or not. It doesn't really matter. At least my thoughts are out there.
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