For those of you (*cough* Rebecca *cough*) who DON'T like to read long blogs, here is the blog I just posted, without the story. The other one is INCREDIBLY long, (I feel bad for making it that long), so if you want to just read the important part, here it is:
As I start praying that night, that everything will be better tomorrow, I discover the answer I have been searching for: why I love theatre.
I finally discover why I accept weird looks from strangers as I walk through stores in my stage makeup. I understand why I'm perfectly fine to get such little sleep at night. I realize the reason that I continue to audition, even after getting tiny ensemble parts in shows. I fully know why I keep doing this, even if it means being hated by people, and even a bit bullied. I know why I put up with all the drama. I've been asking myself, why do I like theatre? Why do I want this? What is this going to do for me? I've always liked to sing and dance, but why am I doing live community theatre, instead of trying to become famous like most kids? And I finally understand why I love being "the awkward theatre kid" at school.
It's because I want to make people smile. It has nothing to do with getting my name out there, or singing for a wider audience. I don't do it for myself, or to make my family proud. I don't do it so I can say that I've done it, or to impress people on the Internet. I do it for the people that spend their money on a ticket to the show, and are going to spend two hours of their lives, watching people that they can see at HEB or Walgreens, sing and dance. They buy a ticket in the hopes that the cast has rehearsed, the crew has everything under control, and that it's entertaining. They come to the show to laugh, or cry, or sing and clap along. They come to take their mind off of whatever their life is like at the moment, and be thrown into a different story. They WANT to be emotionally touched, that's what they're paying to see. And I'm getting cast in shows, no matter how small the part, because the director believes that I can deliver what that audience wants. I tech shows so I can help it run smoothly, and give the audience a sense of it being real, even with people dressed in black moving couches and pie shops around on stage, right in front of them. I live for that. That's what brings me joy. Not the fact that I can have a standing ovation, or the crowd cheering for me. But so I can make others feel happy. So I can bring others what they want, by doing what I love to do. Every night, even if I make only one person feel happy, or forget about their bad day, I am happy. It feels so food to know that you've made a difference in someone's life, no matter how small it may be, and no matter how you may do it. That's why I love theatre with a passion. I get to be with the people that are just like me. That feel the exact same way as me, and do the exact same things, and make people smile. I get to be with the people that are more than my friends, but are my family. God put us in the right place at the right time, gave us what we needed, and said, "Go." And we did. And every day as we rehearse, and laugh, we're just getting even better at making people happy. Every show, we're making people smile. We're making a difference, even changing their lives. Watching a show changed mine, and made me want to do theatre. My life is completely different now. Now, I'm hopefully doing the same. And that's all I want to do, for the rest of my life. Change peoples lives, for the better.
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