It's the day (well, night) before school starts, and I figured that there was no better time to blog than now. I, personally, do not want to go to school. I don't like getting up early, I don't like riding the bus, I don't like homework, I don't like cafeteria food, I HATE math (and math hates me), and I'm not too crazy about the people at my school either. I'm pretty much just a big ball of complaints when it comes to school, but I'm not the only one. There are many other people who despise school just as much as I do. For those reasons, and others. One of the very common reasons people don't like school is simply the idea of cliques, being alone, being bullied, etc. And all of those come from something that everyone does, but no one likes being the victim of: judging people.
We, as humans, want to be liked. We strive to be noticed (in a good way), and fight for the acceptance of others. Some people even go out of their way to change who they are (even if it's a facade), in order to get someone to like them. There's nothing wrong with wanting people to like you. We all do. Why? Because we're simply human, and for some reason, the acceptance of others comes before the acceptance of ourselves. I can see why, and I can't say that I don't want people to like me. Everyone does. In most people's minds (including my own), the worst thing, or one of the worst things is to have someone not like you, especially if it's someone that you specifically WANT to like you. And it's not a bad thing, because we can't help it. But not being liked can tear you down, and hurt you badly.
People say all the time, "I don't want To be judged, by anything but my personality when they begin to really know me." Basically, we don't want to be defined by our looks, or personality at first glance. Often times, the clothes that you wear, or your facial expression isn't the best reflection of who you really are as a person. Judging people at first glance is something that's often times misread, and misjudged, but it's something all humans do anyway, even if they don't want people to do it to them. It's just natural instinct to look at a person, and see what they're doing, how they look, how they present themselves, and judge them straight away, because we're human. Judging people isn't a bad thing, we all do it. And everyone does it to us, especially the first time we meet them. If someone came up to you and told you, "I looked at you, and you looked friendly and nice," you'd probably be happy with that. If they came up to you and said, "You look and mean and rude the way you're sitting like that," you'd probably be offended. We're not afraid of judgement, we just don't want bad judgement.
So where am I going with this? When people judge us as a bad person, or don't like us, it often hurts us and makes us upset. No one wants to not be liked. No one wants to be thought of as rude and mean. At school, there's judgement everywhere, and it can hurt. But at the end of the day, one person not liking you isn't going to end the world. You just have to know how to take the judgement, and throw it aside. Here's what you need to know in order to take criticism as best as you can:
Not everyone is going to like you.
It's a fact. Not everyone is going to want to be your friend. And usually, people have reasons, as stupid as they might be. Once you accept this fact, it's a lot easier to make it through life not striving for the acceptance and confirmation of others. People are going to have problems with you, and not like things that you do or say. They're going to look at you and criticize you. But not everyone is going to like you, and once you fully learn that, you can move on from that one person who doesn't like you, and you'll be happier. Don't fight for the acceptance of someone who's not willing to give it to you. Accept that they won't and move onward. Forward is the only way to go.
It is what it is. If you can't change it, it's not worth the struggle.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
My Passion (Short Version)
For those of you (*cough* Rebecca *cough*) who DON'T like to read long blogs, here is the blog I just posted, without the story. The other one is INCREDIBLY long, (I feel bad for making it that long), so if you want to just read the important part, here it is:
As I start praying that night, that everything will be better tomorrow, I discover the answer I have been searching for: why I love theatre.
I finally discover why I accept weird looks from strangers as I walk through stores in my stage makeup. I understand why I'm perfectly fine to get such little sleep at night. I realize the reason that I continue to audition, even after getting tiny ensemble parts in shows. I fully know why I keep doing this, even if it means being hated by people, and even a bit bullied. I know why I put up with all the drama. I've been asking myself, why do I like theatre? Why do I want this? What is this going to do for me? I've always liked to sing and dance, but why am I doing live community theatre, instead of trying to become famous like most kids? And I finally understand why I love being "the awkward theatre kid" at school.
It's because I want to make people smile. It has nothing to do with getting my name out there, or singing for a wider audience. I don't do it for myself, or to make my family proud. I don't do it so I can say that I've done it, or to impress people on the Internet. I do it for the people that spend their money on a ticket to the show, and are going to spend two hours of their lives, watching people that they can see at HEB or Walgreens, sing and dance. They buy a ticket in the hopes that the cast has rehearsed, the crew has everything under control, and that it's entertaining. They come to the show to laugh, or cry, or sing and clap along. They come to take their mind off of whatever their life is like at the moment, and be thrown into a different story. They WANT to be emotionally touched, that's what they're paying to see. And I'm getting cast in shows, no matter how small the part, because the director believes that I can deliver what that audience wants. I tech shows so I can help it run smoothly, and give the audience a sense of it being real, even with people dressed in black moving couches and pie shops around on stage, right in front of them. I live for that. That's what brings me joy. Not the fact that I can have a standing ovation, or the crowd cheering for me. But so I can make others feel happy. So I can bring others what they want, by doing what I love to do. Every night, even if I make only one person feel happy, or forget about their bad day, I am happy. It feels so food to know that you've made a difference in someone's life, no matter how small it may be, and no matter how you may do it. That's why I love theatre with a passion. I get to be with the people that are just like me. That feel the exact same way as me, and do the exact same things, and make people smile. I get to be with the people that are more than my friends, but are my family. God put us in the right place at the right time, gave us what we needed, and said, "Go." And we did. And every day as we rehearse, and laugh, we're just getting even better at making people happy. Every show, we're making people smile. We're making a difference, even changing their lives. Watching a show changed mine, and made me want to do theatre. My life is completely different now. Now, I'm hopefully doing the same. And that's all I want to do, for the rest of my life. Change peoples lives, for the better.
As I start praying that night, that everything will be better tomorrow, I discover the answer I have been searching for: why I love theatre.
I finally discover why I accept weird looks from strangers as I walk through stores in my stage makeup. I understand why I'm perfectly fine to get such little sleep at night. I realize the reason that I continue to audition, even after getting tiny ensemble parts in shows. I fully know why I keep doing this, even if it means being hated by people, and even a bit bullied. I know why I put up with all the drama. I've been asking myself, why do I like theatre? Why do I want this? What is this going to do for me? I've always liked to sing and dance, but why am I doing live community theatre, instead of trying to become famous like most kids? And I finally understand why I love being "the awkward theatre kid" at school.
It's because I want to make people smile. It has nothing to do with getting my name out there, or singing for a wider audience. I don't do it for myself, or to make my family proud. I don't do it so I can say that I've done it, or to impress people on the Internet. I do it for the people that spend their money on a ticket to the show, and are going to spend two hours of their lives, watching people that they can see at HEB or Walgreens, sing and dance. They buy a ticket in the hopes that the cast has rehearsed, the crew has everything under control, and that it's entertaining. They come to the show to laugh, or cry, or sing and clap along. They come to take their mind off of whatever their life is like at the moment, and be thrown into a different story. They WANT to be emotionally touched, that's what they're paying to see. And I'm getting cast in shows, no matter how small the part, because the director believes that I can deliver what that audience wants. I tech shows so I can help it run smoothly, and give the audience a sense of it being real, even with people dressed in black moving couches and pie shops around on stage, right in front of them. I live for that. That's what brings me joy. Not the fact that I can have a standing ovation, or the crowd cheering for me. But so I can make others feel happy. So I can bring others what they want, by doing what I love to do. Every night, even if I make only one person feel happy, or forget about their bad day, I am happy. It feels so food to know that you've made a difference in someone's life, no matter how small it may be, and no matter how you may do it. That's why I love theatre with a passion. I get to be with the people that are just like me. That feel the exact same way as me, and do the exact same things, and make people smile. I get to be with the people that are more than my friends, but are my family. God put us in the right place at the right time, gave us what we needed, and said, "Go." And we did. And every day as we rehearse, and laugh, we're just getting even better at making people happy. Every show, we're making people smile. We're making a difference, even changing their lives. Watching a show changed mine, and made me want to do theatre. My life is completely different now. Now, I'm hopefully doing the same. And that's all I want to do, for the rest of my life. Change peoples lives, for the better.
Monday, August 13, 2012
My Passion (Long Version)
So I haven't blogged in a while (a long while, for me), even though I've been meaning to. I've been going through experience after experience, and while I've been trying my hardest trying to learn something, and make something of the situation, I haven't learned anything new. So, the only reason I haven't blogged is because I haven't had anything to blog about, and for those who do care about that, I am sorry. This is going to be more of a personal post to me, in regards to my feelings and emotions as opposed to what usually is just a lesson I have learned. I am actually going to share with you (whoever "you" is), something that personally means something to me deeply. This is going to be UBER LONG, just warning you. It's gonna be the longest I've ever posted. It's going to be quite a while before I get to the lesson. I'm sorry if you feel like my blogs are wordy enough already, but there's a story to go with this one.
Last night (or should I say morning-it was 4 AM) was one of the most emotional nights (mornings) I have ever had. I'm an older sister, and my little sister is 12. She's obsessed with this website called "Quotev" that she has an account on, where you post stories, quizzes, statuses, and just talk to new people around the world, much like any other social networking site. Anyway, I'm a bit apprehensive to the subject of my little sister posting things on the Internet (although I do it too-hypocritical, right?), and my parents never checking what she's on. I'm not going to question my mom and dad's parenting, but I don't think it's the right thing to not check what she's doing, considering she's only 12, and not the most responsible. So, taking initiative, I do it for them. (Note: My sister would kill me if she knew I did this.) Not to learn about my sister's personal life (however personal you can get on the Internet), but what she does, and how much she connects with strangers, and if she does communicate with them, what information she is sharing. So, I get onto her page (I don't know her password, so I wasn't logged into her account, just looking at her page) and I start reading some of the statuses, and I see some cuss words, (we're not allowed to cuss) and other things that startle me (nothing too bad), but nothing that's too bad, or upsets me too much. She's 12, of course she's going to write the things she does. But then, I come across a status about her wanting to be on Broadway, and this is where I really start to get irritated.
Why I am getting irritated is because she doesn't even LIKE musicals, or theatre for that matter. She thinks it's stupid and that I am wasting my time. Or, that's what she tells me. Because judging from all of these statuses, SHE'S a "theatre kid". That is not at all true. One of these posts particularly irritates me. It says:
If I were in Wicked, I'd want to be Gelenda (or however you spell it)
I'd want to be Julie in The Wedding Singer.
And if I were in Sound of Music, I want to be Liesel.
What PISSES ME OFF about this is that it is all 100% LIES. She has never seen Wicked or Wedding Singer. The only reason she knows about them is because they're MY favorite shows, and I talk about them all the time. You spell it "Galinda/Glinda", and the girl from Wedding Singer's name isn't even Julie! It's JULIA! And the only reason she's seen The Sound of Music is because I was in it!
I see other posts like this, with lyrics to the songs from those musicals that I'M always singing, and follow up posts with, "I like to post lyrics from my favorite musicals when I'm bored. Don't judge me." She has never even BOTHERED to listen to those songs or soundtracks! She just hears ME sing them! So, while all of this is REALLY irritating me, because she is pretty much lying, I see one particular post that sets me off, and I start bawling my eyes out (she has horrible grammar):
My sister is yelling at me just cause I like musicals. Just cause I like to sing. All the knows how to do is insult me for stuff like that so im afraid to sing or act or anything in public because she says ill never make it and im terrible. Then she goes and does it when ii give up, and just know, that she thinks im better then her. She told me when we were little litterally this: "Olivia your better then me but i dont care, youll never make it." and then i give up, she goes and tries to make it. She yells at me when i get a lead in a play or AUDITION for one or something. im not even allowd to go into theatre arts at my school cause of her. What a great sister she is -_- to make me lose my hope just so shell have HER dream ._. thanks to her, I dont do any of that kind of stuff im not even allowd to WATCH a musical or SING or ill get yelled at or slammed against a wall or shell snitch on me or something. Im SICK OF HER
That. Is. A. Lie. I have never once told her that she was more talented than me. She has never once gotten a lead in a show. She has only ONCE tried out for a show, FOUR YEARS AGO. Everything of that is a lie, except for the fact that I did yell at her for liking musicals. Here's why, although you might not understand:
When you're sisters, everything is a competition. Grades, looks, friends, everything. ESPECIALLY you're involved in the same things. So, a few years ago, my sister and I invented something called "things". These "things" either belong to me or her, and the other cannot take, or get involved in the other person's things, without permission from the other person. These "things" vary from places, stores, hobbies, items, products, clothes, websites, and more. We made a deal not to tell our parents about these "things", because they would demand we stop. For a while, these "things" worked out really well. We didn't get into HALF as many arguments as I'm sure we would have, since we were completely different. Then, she started disobeying the one thing that we had forever agreed on. When I had started playing the piano, I had called any musical instrument as my thing, and she agreed. A while later, she wanted to play the saxophone, and I had grudgingly given her permission after much yelling from her. A year later, she wants to play the clarinet too, and didn't even bother asking. She just did it. Another thing I had called was the clothing store Aeropostale. Again, with MUCH yelling (in public places, I might add) from her, I had to give in to THAT too. If I didn't, it "wasn't fair". At one point, she wanted to test (and did test, although she didn't pass) into my school, even though I had tears in my eyes at the thought of her being even relatively close to my friends. It would really stink if your biggest competition (your siblings) invaded what you loved. Here's why I'm mad about all these posts: I had called live/musical theatre as MY thing. And she has the audacity to go and pretend like she is involved in theatre, on the Internet. Even after guilting me into giving her all those other things. She goes, and takes what is mine. And it SUCKS.
So I sit there for a while, crying because of all these posts. I think that she just wanted to step in, and be in theatre because she wants applause and recognition. She thinks that she can walk in and take what I have worked so hardly for, with the snap of her fingers, because she wants it. Because it's mine. Then, I think I finally come down to the REAL reason she's posting these things.
I remember that she's speaking to strangers on this website, and immediately recall one that she spends a lot of time talking to. A girl named Fragile. Apparently, Fragile is another theatre kid, (like me), and is in love with the show, Wicked (like me). It then starts to only make sense that my sister is posting these things to keep Fragile interested in her. She's taking who I am, and pretending like it's her, for the sake of her image online. I don't know if that's really what she's doing. But it's the only real explanation to why she's saying these things, and then falling asleep at my performances and shows.
(Here's where the lesson FINALLY comes in-I congratulate, and thank you SO MUCH if you've read this far. I just felt the need to explain everything.)
It then makes SOME sense (although I am irritated with her to an extreme amount still), and as I start praying that night, that everything will be better tomorrow, I discover the answer I have been searching for: why I love theatre.
I finally discover why I accept weird looks from strangers as I walk through stores in my stage makeup. I understand why I'm perfectly fine to get such little sleep at night. I realize the reason that I continue to audition, even after getting tiny ensemble parts in shows. I fully know why I keep doing this, even if it means being hated by people, and even a bit bullied. I know why I put up with all the drama. I've been asking myself, why do I like theatre? Why do I want this? What is this going to do for me? I've always liked to sing and dance, but why am I doing live community theatre, instead of trying to become famous like most kids? And I finally understand why I love being "the awkward theatre kid" at school.
It's because I want to make people smile. It has nothing to do with getting my name out there, or singing for a wider audience. I don't do it for myself, or to make my family proud. I don't do it so I can say that I've done it, or to impress people on the Internet. I do it for the people that spend their money on a ticket to the show, and are going to spend two hours of their lives, watching people that they can see at HEB or Walgreens, sing and dance. They buy a ticket in the hopes that the cast has rehearsed, the crew has everything under control, and that it's entertaining. They come to the show to laugh, or cry, or sing and clap along. They come to take their mind off of whatever their life is like at the moment, and be thrown into a different story. They WANT to be emotionally touched, that's what they're paying to see. And I'm getting cast in shows, no matter how small the part, because the director believes that I can deliver what that audience wants. I tech shows so I can help it run smoothly, and give the audience a sense of it being real, even with people dressed in black moving couches and pie shops around on stage, right in front of them. I live for that. That's what brings me joy. Not the fact that I can have a standing ovation, or the crowd cheering for me. But so I can make others feel happy. So I can bring others what they want, by doing what I love to do. Every night, even if I make only one person feel happy, or forget about their bad day, I am happy. It feels so food to know that you've made a difference in someone's life, no matter how small it may be, and no matter how you may do it. That's why I love theatre with a passion. I get to be with the people that are just like me. That feel the exact same way as me, and do the exact same things, and make people smile. I get to be with the people that are more than my friends, but are my family. God put us in the right place at the right time, gave us what we needed, and said, "Go." And we did. And every day as we rehearse, and laugh, we're just getting even better at making people happy. Every show, we're making people smile. We're making a difference, even changing their lives. Watching a show changed mine, and made me want to do theatre. My life is completely different now. Now, I'm hopefully doing the same. And that's all I want to do, for the rest of my life. Change peoples lives, for the better.
Last night (or should I say morning-it was 4 AM) was one of the most emotional nights (mornings) I have ever had. I'm an older sister, and my little sister is 12. She's obsessed with this website called "Quotev" that she has an account on, where you post stories, quizzes, statuses, and just talk to new people around the world, much like any other social networking site. Anyway, I'm a bit apprehensive to the subject of my little sister posting things on the Internet (although I do it too-hypocritical, right?), and my parents never checking what she's on. I'm not going to question my mom and dad's parenting, but I don't think it's the right thing to not check what she's doing, considering she's only 12, and not the most responsible. So, taking initiative, I do it for them. (Note: My sister would kill me if she knew I did this.) Not to learn about my sister's personal life (however personal you can get on the Internet), but what she does, and how much she connects with strangers, and if she does communicate with them, what information she is sharing. So, I get onto her page (I don't know her password, so I wasn't logged into her account, just looking at her page) and I start reading some of the statuses, and I see some cuss words, (we're not allowed to cuss) and other things that startle me (nothing too bad), but nothing that's too bad, or upsets me too much. She's 12, of course she's going to write the things she does. But then, I come across a status about her wanting to be on Broadway, and this is where I really start to get irritated.
Why I am getting irritated is because she doesn't even LIKE musicals, or theatre for that matter. She thinks it's stupid and that I am wasting my time. Or, that's what she tells me. Because judging from all of these statuses, SHE'S a "theatre kid". That is not at all true. One of these posts particularly irritates me. It says:
If I were in Wicked, I'd want to be Gelenda (or however you spell it)
I'd want to be Julie in The Wedding Singer.
And if I were in Sound of Music, I want to be Liesel.
What PISSES ME OFF about this is that it is all 100% LIES. She has never seen Wicked or Wedding Singer. The only reason she knows about them is because they're MY favorite shows, and I talk about them all the time. You spell it "Galinda/Glinda", and the girl from Wedding Singer's name isn't even Julie! It's JULIA! And the only reason she's seen The Sound of Music is because I was in it!
I see other posts like this, with lyrics to the songs from those musicals that I'M always singing, and follow up posts with, "I like to post lyrics from my favorite musicals when I'm bored. Don't judge me." She has never even BOTHERED to listen to those songs or soundtracks! She just hears ME sing them! So, while all of this is REALLY irritating me, because she is pretty much lying, I see one particular post that sets me off, and I start bawling my eyes out (she has horrible grammar):
My sister is yelling at me just cause I like musicals. Just cause I like to sing. All the knows how to do is insult me for stuff like that so im afraid to sing or act or anything in public because she says ill never make it and im terrible. Then she goes and does it when ii give up, and just know, that she thinks im better then her. She told me when we were little litterally this: "Olivia your better then me but i dont care, youll never make it." and then i give up, she goes and tries to make it. She yells at me when i get a lead in a play or AUDITION for one or something. im not even allowd to go into theatre arts at my school cause of her. What a great sister she is -_- to make me lose my hope just so shell have HER dream ._. thanks to her, I dont do any of that kind of stuff im not even allowd to WATCH a musical or SING or ill get yelled at or slammed against a wall or shell snitch on me or something. Im SICK OF HER
That. Is. A. Lie. I have never once told her that she was more talented than me. She has never once gotten a lead in a show. She has only ONCE tried out for a show, FOUR YEARS AGO. Everything of that is a lie, except for the fact that I did yell at her for liking musicals. Here's why, although you might not understand:
When you're sisters, everything is a competition. Grades, looks, friends, everything. ESPECIALLY you're involved in the same things. So, a few years ago, my sister and I invented something called "things". These "things" either belong to me or her, and the other cannot take, or get involved in the other person's things, without permission from the other person. These "things" vary from places, stores, hobbies, items, products, clothes, websites, and more. We made a deal not to tell our parents about these "things", because they would demand we stop. For a while, these "things" worked out really well. We didn't get into HALF as many arguments as I'm sure we would have, since we were completely different. Then, she started disobeying the one thing that we had forever agreed on. When I had started playing the piano, I had called any musical instrument as my thing, and she agreed. A while later, she wanted to play the saxophone, and I had grudgingly given her permission after much yelling from her. A year later, she wants to play the clarinet too, and didn't even bother asking. She just did it. Another thing I had called was the clothing store Aeropostale. Again, with MUCH yelling (in public places, I might add) from her, I had to give in to THAT too. If I didn't, it "wasn't fair". At one point, she wanted to test (and did test, although she didn't pass) into my school, even though I had tears in my eyes at the thought of her being even relatively close to my friends. It would really stink if your biggest competition (your siblings) invaded what you loved. Here's why I'm mad about all these posts: I had called live/musical theatre as MY thing. And she has the audacity to go and pretend like she is involved in theatre, on the Internet. Even after guilting me into giving her all those other things. She goes, and takes what is mine. And it SUCKS.
So I sit there for a while, crying because of all these posts. I think that she just wanted to step in, and be in theatre because she wants applause and recognition. She thinks that she can walk in and take what I have worked so hardly for, with the snap of her fingers, because she wants it. Because it's mine. Then, I think I finally come down to the REAL reason she's posting these things.
I remember that she's speaking to strangers on this website, and immediately recall one that she spends a lot of time talking to. A girl named Fragile. Apparently, Fragile is another theatre kid, (like me), and is in love with the show, Wicked (like me). It then starts to only make sense that my sister is posting these things to keep Fragile interested in her. She's taking who I am, and pretending like it's her, for the sake of her image online. I don't know if that's really what she's doing. But it's the only real explanation to why she's saying these things, and then falling asleep at my performances and shows.
(Here's where the lesson FINALLY comes in-I congratulate, and thank you SO MUCH if you've read this far. I just felt the need to explain everything.)
It then makes SOME sense (although I am irritated with her to an extreme amount still), and as I start praying that night, that everything will be better tomorrow, I discover the answer I have been searching for: why I love theatre.
I finally discover why I accept weird looks from strangers as I walk through stores in my stage makeup. I understand why I'm perfectly fine to get such little sleep at night. I realize the reason that I continue to audition, even after getting tiny ensemble parts in shows. I fully know why I keep doing this, even if it means being hated by people, and even a bit bullied. I know why I put up with all the drama. I've been asking myself, why do I like theatre? Why do I want this? What is this going to do for me? I've always liked to sing and dance, but why am I doing live community theatre, instead of trying to become famous like most kids? And I finally understand why I love being "the awkward theatre kid" at school.
It's because I want to make people smile. It has nothing to do with getting my name out there, or singing for a wider audience. I don't do it for myself, or to make my family proud. I don't do it so I can say that I've done it, or to impress people on the Internet. I do it for the people that spend their money on a ticket to the show, and are going to spend two hours of their lives, watching people that they can see at HEB or Walgreens, sing and dance. They buy a ticket in the hopes that the cast has rehearsed, the crew has everything under control, and that it's entertaining. They come to the show to laugh, or cry, or sing and clap along. They come to take their mind off of whatever their life is like at the moment, and be thrown into a different story. They WANT to be emotionally touched, that's what they're paying to see. And I'm getting cast in shows, no matter how small the part, because the director believes that I can deliver what that audience wants. I tech shows so I can help it run smoothly, and give the audience a sense of it being real, even with people dressed in black moving couches and pie shops around on stage, right in front of them. I live for that. That's what brings me joy. Not the fact that I can have a standing ovation, or the crowd cheering for me. But so I can make others feel happy. So I can bring others what they want, by doing what I love to do. Every night, even if I make only one person feel happy, or forget about their bad day, I am happy. It feels so food to know that you've made a difference in someone's life, no matter how small it may be, and no matter how you may do it. That's why I love theatre with a passion. I get to be with the people that are just like me. That feel the exact same way as me, and do the exact same things, and make people smile. I get to be with the people that are more than my friends, but are my family. God put us in the right place at the right time, gave us what we needed, and said, "Go." And we did. And every day as we rehearse, and laugh, we're just getting even better at making people happy. Every show, we're making people smile. We're making a difference, even changing their lives. Watching a show changed mine, and made me want to do theatre. My life is completely different now. Now, I'm hopefully doing the same. And that's all I want to do, for the rest of my life. Change peoples lives, for the better.
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