Being Happy

It's about that time again where I need to post about something gravely important to me, and I feel like it's the right time to do it. Yet another year of school has ended for me on Friday, and soon, half of 2012 will be over. I find it incredibly amazing how fast time goes. So, this post is going to be about the most important thing I have learned this full school year, and this half of a year so far: being happy.

Everyone wants to be happy. Right? When you really think about it, isn't everyone's real goal in life to be happy? Or rather, are the things you want to achieve going to make you happy once you achieve them? In the end, when you're lying on your deathbed, you want to be able to say that you lived the happiest life you possibly could. Am I not correct? I don't think there is ONE person on this Earth who doesn't have a goal. I know there isn't one person on this Earth who doesn't want to be happy. So, if you disagree with my previous statements, think about them before you continue reading. If you do agree, keep thinking about them. Then, when you're ready, whether you agree or not, keep reading.

Sixth grade was horrible.

I'm not going to lie when I say it was one of the worst years of my life. Why? Because I had so many issues. I had a problem with my friends, with people who weren't my friends, with my family, with my goals, with my teachers, everything. But then, a year later, now that I think about it... none of those things are a problem for me anymore. Yes, they were resolved, but if they were to somehow come back into my life, I wouldn't find them a problem anymore. They seem trivial and small now. I'm much happier, regardless of whether the problems I now have are bigger or smaller. Why? Because of the way I have grown and my thought process has grown within a year. Because the things that I found important then may be unimportant now, and vice versa. Because I now have a new definition of being "happy".

Being "happy" is defined as, "being characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, or joy." The word "satisfaction" is the one I am speaking mostly of. You're satisfied when you complete your goals, no matter how large or small. You're satisfied when you have accomplished something. You're satisfied when something that you want comes out as you want it. And that makes you happy. That's basically the global definition of being happy. Think about this. Ponder it. Agree or don't agree. And then, when you're done thinking, continue reading.

So, having that being said, you're happy when things go the way you want. It is assumed that then when you have things not go the way you want, you are "unhappy".

Being "unhappy" is defined as, "being sad, miserable, or wretched". When things don't go your way, when you don't get what you want, or anything like that, makes you sad, upset, frustrated, angry, depressed, annoyed, and so on. That makes you unhappy. That's the global definition of being unhappy.

So what's the point of all of this? My point was to get you to understand that most people's definitions of being "happy" is to be satisfied. And most people's definitions of being "unhappy" is to be unsatisfied. Only when you realize that can we move on to how to make yourself happy. So now, again, think about everything I have said. Read over it, think about it, agree or disagree. And then, keep reading.

You can control your emotions.

Well, maybe not control them. But you can encourage them in a certain direction.

At least I can.

And I can because of what my definition of "being happy" is.

It's simply, "To not be unhappy."

That's pretty basic. Now think about THAT definition of being happy, and decide whether you agree with it or not. Then, as always, keep reading.

Now think about this: Are you ever happy when you're sad, upset, frustrated, depressed, angered, jealous, annoyed, pestered, mad, or hurt?

No.

Are you ever UN-happy when you're sad, upset, frustrated, depressed, angered, jealous, annoyed, pestered, mad, or hurt?

Yes.

So, to be happy, you can't be unhappy. And to not be unhappy, you can't be any one of those emotions or any like it.

Make sense?

It's a bit confusing, but think about it, read over it, and then...

Well, you know. Keep reading.

We WANT to be happy. That is our goal. To be happy, we can't be any one of those emotions. So don't be. Don't let yourself be. It might be difficult, but I can do it. You can too, if you understand what I'm saying, take it to heart, and try. Tell yourself that you want to be happy. Refuse to be any of those emotions. Turn what's nothing you around and MAKE it better. Don't sit there crying. Crying doesn't make things any happier. Tell whoever you need to whatever you need to. Do what you have to do, regardless of what it is, or the consequences of it. Make it better for yourself. When you finally get the courage and motivation to make it better for yourself, only then can you be happy. Then, you won't be any of those emotions. Then, you won't be unhappy. Then, you will be happy. Take charge of your life. Make it what you want it to be.

Make it happy.

Thank You

This is going to be a teeny tiny post, without any lesson to learn. I'm warning you right now, so if you don't want to read this, then don't, but it'll only take up maybe two minutes of your time, depending on how fast you read. I think that if you finish reading this, it might be worth it. Okay, here we go:

I would greatly appreciate it if you told me you read my blog. Here's why: Right after I posted, "Today and Tomorrow", I checked my stats (pageviews, etc.) for this blog. It said that I had seven pageviews just yesterday, and already 10 today... It's noon. I don't even know three people who read this! I know of one, and maybe one more. That's it! I'm kind of shocked where this came from. Also, I had almost 250 pageviews last month, and around 200 this month. That means that on average last month, I was getting eight pageviews a day. I didn't know how correct this was, but I then did some "experimenting" and found out that it is accurate. It also told me what browser people were using (Safari for iPod or iPhone users was at around 75%, next in line came Internet Explorer, then Mozilla Firefox, then a few things I have never heard of) and what device people were using to look at my page (iPhone was 51%, then iPod at 25%, then computer, some other things I never heard of, and lastly, Android at 4%). I know one person reading this has an iPhone, I have an iPod (but I alone do not make up 25%), but I don't know where everything else came from! I think the thing that surprised me the most was the countries that the traffic was coming from. I had 400 page views from the US (duh), but then one from Colombia, one from Brazil, one from Thailand, three from the UK, four from Germany, and 52 from Russia? What? With these stats, I have NO IDEA who most of these readers are. So, no, you do not have to tell me if you're reading this... But I would appreciate it! Aside from asking you to tell me who you are, (of you want to), there was another reason to this seemingly-unimportant post.

I want to thank you for reading this. Like I said before, my goal was never to have a "popular" blog. It was to simply put my thoughts out there. No, this blog is not "popular", but it is a lot more successful than I thought it would be. I don't want people to be talking about my blog, I want people to be thinking about what I had to say. I think I may have accomplished that. I hope I have. So thank you for reading this nonsensical post. Thank you for reading my blog at all.

Today and Tomorrow

This week was the last week of school. This isn't going to be one of those usual posts talking about how much I'm going to miss everyone, or how hard it was to say goodbye (We'll see each other next year; I was glad to leave.), but rather what I learned this week. Within the past five or six days, I managed to make something of what I was given.

On Monday, everyone was tired (because it's Monday), including me. I just wanted to go back home, and go to sleep. So as my friend and I were walking to French, I was complaining about being tired, and asked (rhetorically), "What's even the POINT of this last week of school?" She responded with a simple answer, that made a lot of sense. "If this week wasn't the last week of school, then last week would've been. It would've had to happen eventually."

I started thinking about what she said, and she was right. Unless we went to school year-round for the rest of our lives, there would always be a "last week of school". So I decided to suck up being tired, and enjoy it. It would be my last five days of being a seventh grader. Maybe that's a good thing. My last five days of Algebra, my last five days of science, or my last five days getting up at 6:45 in the morning. But there were also some bad things. My last week of Texas History, my last week of reading good books in English, my last week of Theatre. It's true that with every good thing, there's a downside. But with every bad thing, there's an upside also. The important thing is to not pay attention to the bad things, and focus on the good, because you don't know how much longer you'll have any of it.

It's also that way with people. I have some people in my life that I may say I hate, or do have some things about them that I hate, but I would find it incredibly hard if some day, they weren't there. I know you have someone like that in your life, I would be astounded if you didn't. For example, someone in my French class. She drives me insane how annoying, fake, and absolutely conceited she is. But on those days that she's absent, I'm happy that she's not there to pester me, but I'm also left stranded. When we partner up with people in first period, there's no one for me to be with, because she's gone. I'm with strangers. And although I may not have my food stolen at lunch, or whatever, I also don't have anyone to be with during Science. There's an upside an a downside to everything and everyone. You just have to look past the problems and difficulties, and pay attention to how you really benefit.

You can be annoyed with a person and ignore them, and be incredibly hurt by them, but they're still one of your best friends. That happened last night. I was left out, excluded, however you want to say it, and they didn't make any effort to include me, so I was incredibly mad. I still am, but I learned that she also helps me. Maybe she won't ever really realize what she's doing, no matter how many times I tell her. I will always be annoyed. I will always be upset. But the truth is that if she was a good friend, she would try to understand. Maybe she's not. But maybe she is. I don't know right now, but she hasn't much let me down before, so I have to trust that she is. The most I can do is to make the possible best of what she's giving me, and try to accept the worst.

I hope maybe you could relate to one of the three scenarios that I put out. I have more, but not enough time. I also hope that maybe it taught you something. If it did, I hope that it was to make the best of what you have today, for it may not be there tomorrow.

A Note About My Blog

I want to talk about a few things I just wanted to let whoever is reading this know. I only know of one definite person, and one probable person reading this, but I really don't know who other than that is. But either way, regardless of who you are, I just want to thank you for: a) If this is your first time reading my blog, you've made it this far, and b) If you've read it before, thank you for continuing to read it and check back every so often. That brings me to why I want to thank you. And that brings me to what I want to do with this blog.

As it now says in my bio-type thing, I only write for myself. By that, I mean that I write what I want to say, not what others want to hear. These are the things I think they NEED to hear, but sometimes, you may not agree with me. That's perfectly fine. I write what I personally think, in the hopes that someone will find it intriguing, provoking, or even inspiring. Writing for yourself and sharing it with the public is different than altering your writing directly for the public.

My initial intention when starting this blog was non-existent. I didn't have anything I wanted to accomplish. I created one because I had read other blogs and simply decided that I wanted one. The authors of the two I had read are both fantastic writers, but I didn't notice something about their writing until after I started writing mine. They were both different. One was more leaning towards the vent-y, rant side, where you post what you need to get off your chest, and the other was kind of about things that they had learned, but not exactly. It was more about certain days that made an impact on them, sometimes simply because what they did kept them from being bored at that time. I didn't realize there was a difference until I had posted some and noticed the road I was heading. I had started the blog because I wanted someone to read what I had to say, I guess, but there was nothing I really wanted to do. Again, only until after starting to post did I establish a goal. Some blogs, similar to the rant blog, don't seek readers. They just want to say what they think that moment in time, and then be done with it. They possibly want sympathy or advice. Sone blogs simply want readers. They don't want anyone to be intrigued, but rather just want to have people read it, and keep reading it. I, personally, don't care about either of those things so much. Of course they both are somewhat important, but that's not what I'm going for. I will blog when I need to vent, and I will get happy or excited when I reach a large number of page views, but more than anything, I want to inspire. I don't care whether I have two readers, as long as the two are interested. As long as I'm teaching them something. Not as long as they're agreeing, but as long as they're provoked. My main goal is to inspire people. I post about the things I have learned, and what I think others need to learn as well. Maybe I only have one reader. I'm proud if I can say I made that one person think about at least one thing in a different way.

Inspiration is everywhere. It sounds cliche and over-used, but it really is. I've gotten inspiration from my family, the news, substitutes, my English teacher, my friends, music, my ears and eyes, strangers, quotes, and bits of conversations. I get inspiration everywhere. When something happens and I learn something new, I promise you, it will be blogged. Not in the hopes that people will read it and love it. But in the hopes that at least one person will read it, and learn.

After reading, you may ask what the point of this post is. Basically, I'm trying to tell you that: a) I just want to inspire something, and b) Maybe you should start a blog also. You may have no motivation or intention, but it will come soon enough. It did for me. Don't listen to those who tell you not to because they did it before you, or it's stupid, or whatever. I've dealt with that, and I still don't regret making this. I wouldn't be typing right now if I did. So just make one, and see what happens. You could start something great. You could inspire something.

I hope I made you think.

If I Die Tomorrow

So, currently trending on Twitter is "If I Die Tomorrow". I find it incredibly appropriate because of the sudden and spontaneous immense appreciation for my friends today. I am also grateful for my family, although they can be a handful sometimes, but the thing is, that to me, friendship is sometimes more. I feel like family is "forced" to love you. They're not exactly forced, they don't really HAVE to, but to be honest, if you went to the same school as your sibling, would you befriend them? If your parent were a coworker or your teacher, would you like them? I know that a lot of people would argue this statement, but it's personally how I feel. But friends, on the other hand, are a different matter. They aren't forced to be with you. That's their choice. That's what they do, just because they love you, not because they live with you. So, today, nothing exactly "happened", but I just started thinking, and realized that I owe some of my friends an incredible debt, just because of everything they've ever done for me, and how many smiles they put on my face every single day. So, although the chance is small, anything's possible; If I die tomorrow, I want a certain few people to know what they mean to me.

#1: First, there's my friend in which I spend EVERY SIBGLE DAY with. I'm not going to say names, but if you are these people, you'll be able to tell. Also, the number I do this in are not in any specific order. Anyway, I want to tell this one person that the thing that I appreciate her most for is always and forever standing right by my side. No, not only does she help me when things are wrong, but is literally RIGHT by my actual side as we're walking from class to class. There is never a time when I cannot trust her to be there. And I thank her for that. I can't thank her enough for that. We all need someone like that in our life. I'm glad to day that I do.

#2 This person (who I know for a fact is reading this) I thank most for basically supporting everything. She puts up with my crazy, annoying antics most days. I've known her for a little over a year now, and throughout the entire journey, there's no one that has been there more than she has. She's listened to my problems, stalked me, and we talk every single day. I can't thank her enough for just being there, and supporting and helping me in everything. She's my "well rounded" friend, the one that's good for everything. A laugh when you need it, a shoulder to cry on, or a stand for support. She is who she is. There's no one else like her, exactly.

#3 I want to tell this one person that the thing I most appreciate is their advice, and words of kindness. In addition to being such a fun person, I can always trust them to help me when I need it, and that's one of the most important things a friend can do. If you can't trust them, than what are they there for? I can always trust her, and I am immensely grateful for that. When I'm feeling down on myself, it will always be her to tell me that I'm being unreasonable and I'm wrong. There's no price tag you can put on that.

#4 I want to thank THIS person for trust again, but in a different way. I can always trust her with any secret, that's true, but the trust I'm talking about is the trust that she has in me, which gives me confidence. She can tell me anything, and trust me with everything, and she know that. It makes me feel like I'm a good friend, a good person, and that's one of the most important things of all. In order to have a good friend, you should be one too. There are no words to describe my pride in being this person's friend. To know that she's in my life in the way that she is, is unimaginable and priceless. I can't explain it. Just thank you.

If you're reading this, and want to know who any of them are, just ask. I'll answer honestly. I don't lie. I can say way more about everyone that's on here, plus those people that aren't. I just wanted to express my emotions towards some amazing people. I hope you have people like this in your life. I hope I am a person like this in someone's life. If you do, I encourage you to tell them. Sometimes, complimenting people can be the best thing you could do, and just what they needed that day. Be a part of someone's life and make them happy they have you, by showing them that you're happy to have them. Tomorrow, you may not get to. Let them know today. It could mean everything to them.

Sometimes the best things in life are spontaneous. They come without planning, and catch you by surprise, but are even better in that way. It can take under a minute to make someone's day, or ruin it. It can take only a change of heart, mind, or direction to change someone's life.

Choices and Changes

I'm not exactly sure how to start this post. I know what I want to say, but not how to begin. I guess I should start by saying that everything I'm about to tell you is probably hypocritical. I will not do about 95% of what I'm saying. Eventually, I will, but for now, I'm telling you what I know. I may not be smart enough to take to my own advice, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't. Just because I can live up to what I'm saying doesn't mean you can't. So, on that note, let's start.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

You've probably heard this, or at least heard of this at least once in your life. What's above is the last stanza of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken". We were reading this in English class, and comparing it to the book we're currently reading. But before we read it, our substitute gave us a brief description of what the entire poem is believed to mean. She basically said that the poem was about being an individual, making your own choices, non-conformity, etcetera, but I personally think that it means something similar, but also completely different. In my opinion, it's about making choices, both good and bad, and how they can affect your life in the greatest or smallest way. It never said in the poem that the "difference" was a good one. He never said if the choice he made was the right one. All he did was choose one of the roads, and it made all the difference in his life. That brings me to today/tonight's topic/s: choices, changes, and dealing with them.

I've been a bit overusing a certain saying that I find quite interesting. It's not a common phrase, but you've probably heard it before. It has five words. Anyway, I've been somewhat overusing it in everyday things and situations, while it has a much deeper meaning than what it's commonly used for. It basically means, "Things are the way things are. You can't change them, so don't try, and don't mope, because that won't help."

When you make a decision, whether it be uneducated or not, it's still a choice you had to make. It could be a bad choice, or a good choice. The outcome could be good or bad. The outcome could potentially change your life, point of view, or way of thinking. What you have to do is hope for a good outcome, and if it isn't, make the best of it. Learn what you can, and put it behind you. You can temporarily be sad, or depressed, but you can't go back in time and change it. You can't fix what you've done. And sitting there moping isn't going to help you fix it either. At the most, moping can only get you sympathy, or advice. It takes you, and your initiative to get up and take that advice. Instead of complaining about the things you can't change, try to fix the things you can. It'll do you a lot more than whining and making it worse for yourself. And after things have changed for you, don't dwell on the past. As Lyndon B. Johnson said, "We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it." Everything is for a reason. You can't change it. Just make it better for yourself.

So, take whatever road or path you want. Look at it first, or don't. Just don't complain when the worst is handed to you, and be grateful if the best is. Make the best out of the worst, change your direction, and move forward, with something new that you've learned. There's nothing you can change except your own view on it. After all,

It is what it is.

Try.

I remember where I was a year ago. I'd imagine that you can, also. It really wasn't that long ago. I remember how I felt during that time. What emotions I would have on a daily basis, what problems I was facing, what the solutions to the problems were, what were the good things I had, and everything along those lines. But in specific, I remember what I wanted then. Not only what I wanted, but what my goals were. I remember all of that, distinctly. I'd be surprised if you don't. A year is not that long of a time, especially as you get older. So, just take a minute, before continuing to read this, and think about your life last year. Think about what happened, what you learned, your life then in comparison to now, and then, most importantly, what you wanted then in relativity to what you have/want now. After you're done remembering, then continue reading.

In English class, we're reading a book called "Mao's Last Dancer". If you haven't, or aren't, I encourage you to read it. Personally, I really liked it, but you might not be the person who enjoys autobiographies about a male ballet dancer that lives in communist China. Anyway, that was what it was basically about, but it was actually more centered around a little boy with a dream. Actually, it wasn't so much of a dream as it was a motivation. Believe me, they're two different things. Anyway, it starts out where he's poor and struggling to get by, as a child. He then has the motivation (not dream), to become a ballet dancer. The reason i say motivation, not dream, is because he didn't always dream of doing ballet, but what rather happened is he was spontaneously given the chance to become a ballet dancer, and took the opportunity to help his family. Only later did he actually want to do ballet. Anyway, in the story, one of his ballet teachers told him,

"To be the best, you have to first dare to try."

Think about what that means. It's probably something you've heard before, or heard something similar to it before, but just think about it. It probably won't have any actual emotional meaning to you until you experience it. Until then, it's just words on a screen. But think about it. Once you're done thinking, then keep reading.

A year ago, I had a dream (not motivation) for myself. Not so much of a dream either, but a goal. I had a goal that I would accomplish it. Of course, though, to accomplish it, I had to try. What I wanted was not something that was easily attempted. It took me many tries before I made any kind of slight progress. But then, gradually, I went from failing, to making some progress, to almost achieving it, to completely there. Within a year. Like I said before, a year is not a long time. And now that I've accomplished it, I'm a lot happier. I did it. It was work, and it was a long time coming, but it finally came, and that's what matters. But do you know why I finally accomplished my goal? Because I tried. Because I attempted to make progress towards it, and eventually I did. Do you know how the main character in Mao's Last Dancer made his dream come true? By trying. Many things stood in his way, but he did it. And now he's where he wants to be, as am I. I'm sure you've done something even remotely similar in your life. Think about it.

To be the best, you first have to first dare to try.

So go. Try something. Don't be afraid of failing, or losing. To be honest, you might. I'm not going to lie and say you'll achieve it. But you tried. And at this point, the chances of achieving it are 50%. If you don't ever try, they're at 0%. Just try something, even small. Be where you want to be, just by having the courage to attempt to do something.

You miss some of what you try for, and all in which you don't.

Fate

So, unbeknownst to me, a certain someone has been constantly reading my blog. This girl has two eyes, a mouth, a nose, and has already read the one I posted 24 hours ago. Her name is... Katie. And I know she's reading this right now. Hi. Anyway, there's something I've been wanting to talk about for a while now, and knowing that Katie is reading this has convinced me to now post it. So, let's talk about this this called: fate.

About a month ago or so, I did some asking around, and came up with the conclusion that many people believe in fate. Everyone for different reasons. Some just believe in it because it sounds cool, some think that because they've discovered something or someone it's fate, and some have had actual experiences with "fate", or what they think might be "fate". I'm one of those people, but I don't necessarily think it's fate. So, here's my story:

Once upon a time, a little over a year ago, I auditioned for a show. I got a callback, and at these callbacks, we were doing cold reads. So, I got randomly got paired up with the person sitting behind me. She read for the lead, and I read for the other person in the scene, the supporting character. We basically went outside the room, learned each others names, rehearsed a few times, performed, and... The end. Until about four or five months later.

It's the first day of summer camp. I walk in the doors and my friend from school is sitting on the torn-up bench with another girl. Since my friend from school is the only person I know, I sit on the floor in front of them, and start making conversation. I feel like I know the other girl from somewhere, but I can't remember, even after she's told me her name. Eventually, sometime that day, she asks if I was at the callbacks for that show. I say yes, and we both make the connection that we had read together. The next two weeks fly by in a flurry of singing and stretching, and then, camp is over. I have some depression about it, but I I get over it after a while. For the next week or so, I continue to keep in touch with everyone, but eventually it stops. The end. Until about a month or two later.

It's around Thanksgiving, and I do my thing of texting almost every single person on my phone, "Happy Thanksgiving!" I text her, and she sends me back, "I MISS YOU!" Well, okay. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. But I respond with, "I miss you too!" and it's true, I do. Then she has to go to school and says she'll text me afterwards. So she does. We talk about what we've done since we saw each other last, and a lot about theatre and the new season schedule. Particularly, this group of theatre kids basically that you have to audition for called First Stage Players. We're both gonna audition, blah blah blah, the end. Until a few weeks later.

It's December, and we're seeing each other for the first time since camp. Yay, it's a happy day, except I'm nervous out of my pants (not literally). Her number is pretty early on, and mine is later, so we only talk for a bit before she leaves. Finally, the day comes where we get our calls: and we both made it in. We're overjoyed, and our messages are filled with smiley faces :) and everything. So, our theatre journey starts. This time, it's not "the end, until...". It's still continuing. It's just beginning. It's been a little over a year since we first met each other at that audition (neither of us got in), and now we're both performing side by side (literally) to each other. It only took a year.

I believe that wasn't fate. Everyone was put in our lives for a reason. I can tell that this person was put into my life for a definite reason. I can already give you some that she's shown me. Everyone teaches you something. I can already tell you some things I've learned from her, and I hope she's learned something from me. God puts everyone in our lives for a certain reason, he doesn't leave things up to chance. It wasn't fate that we met. He planned it. He said, "You need someone like her in your life," and made it happen. What we chose to do with it was our decision. She's one of my best friends, and I hope she continues to be for a long time. If not, then at least I've learned what I can, while I had it. I just hope I can have it for longer.